Is Speaking a Mental Game?

We've heard that golf is a mental game. But what about speaking? Public speaking still tops the list of all fears. What is fear? It's a belief, a thought, a perception. It's not tangible although you can see the signs of fear manifest in shaky knees or a sweaty brow.

When you're relaxed you speak better. When you're fearful, your body stiffens and your mind goes blank. That's a mental game. In the book, The Inner Game of Golf, author W. Timothy Gallwey talks about how the mind interferes with performance.
He created a formula to explain how this mental interference works:
P=p-i. The quality of your performance (P) is equal to your potential (p) minus the interference with the expression of that potential (i). In other words, Performance equals Self 2 (potential) minus Self 1 (mental interference).

Gallwey discovered that changing the negative self talk actually improved his golf game. It's the same with speaking.

Everybody has the potential to give an effective presentation. The reason it's not effective is because of negative thinking which causes us not to prepare, to nervously ramble on, and freeze up.
Fear is not real-it's imagined. It begins and ends in your mind.
You can take classes, get coached, and read books. But when you work on your mental game that's when you take your performance to the next level and give a Knockout Presentation!

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Three Best Ways to Make a Viral Video

Social media has leveled the playing field. You can bypass expensive ad agencies and create your own video to promote yourself or your business. The question is, how do you get your message out there? The Wall Street Journal recently published an article on the three best ways to make a viral video. To read the story and my quote, click here:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204488304574435020939186220.html

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

How to Give an Acceptance Speech

It’s that time again-we just watched the Emmy awards.
You may not win an Emmy or an Oscar but the moment may come when you receive an award. You’re excited. You’re honored. But wait! You’ll have to give an acceptance speech. What do you say? And how do you say it?
Don’t worry. You’ll shine on stage as long as you remember these tips:

1.Keep it brief. Most award ceremonies don’t allot much time to the recipients. So honor the time limits and don’t hog the stage. No one wants to hear you drone on.

2.Plan your message. Don’t be caught unprepared. Even if you think winning is a long shot, prepare a few message points and write down the names of people to thank. You don’t want to forget them in the excitement of the moment

3.Stay focused. Speakers go on too long because they ramble instead of concentrating on their message points. Practice and time your speech and
don’t go off on tangents.

4.Thank key people. It’s not always possible to thank every person so mention the VIPs and group others into categories. “I’d like to thank the cast and crew…

Whatever Happened to "I'm Sorry"?

Years ago a parent accused a teacher of denigrating her child's lifestyle. Of course, that wasn't what he said but she insisted that he apologize. The principal,being in a tight spot, decided to support the parent. The teacher didn't want to apologize for something he never said, so he wrote a letter saying he was sorry that the parent misunderstood, etc. He told me how he had finessed the apology without accepting responsibility. He knew was innocent of the charges.

Today, it seems that this is too often the case when people are guilty of some wrong doing.
When David Letterman disparaged Bristol Palin, his first apology was more of a joke than contrition. Only after pressure did he actually apologize.

Most recently Kanye West grabbed the microphone and interrupted Taylor Swift's acceptance speech. His first response was to justify his actions, adding that no disrespect was intended. Only after intense pressure and increased outrage did he actually said he was sorry.

A basic rule in media training is this:
When a crisis occurs, take responsibility and do it quickly.
When people in business or in the public eye, beat around the bush and talk around an apology, it only festers. Kanye is now in a major damage control situation and continues to say his mea culpas.

If you've made an error in a professional or personal situation, apologize. Effective communication is clear, specific, and direct. When you're wrong, say so. Like the words of the old Brenda Lee song, say "I'm sorry."

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Are You Speaking English or American?

Early in my training career, I was sent to the London office to give a management skills seminar.The British were pleasant and receptive. At one point I told them that "These are skills you can use back on the job." All of sudden I heard a burst of laughter. I knew it couldn't have been my humor. Was the transfer of skills really that funny? I soon realized that "on the job" was the British equivalent of turning a trick. Uh oh. How was I to know? Nothing prepared me for that.

It was announced today that Mayor Bloomberg of New York City and Boris Johnson signed a two year deal to promote cross-Atlantic visits between London and New York.

So,if you speak in London, avoid putting your foot in your mouth. Here are some common terms to know:

bladdered-drunk
braces-suspenders
lorry-truck
mack-raincoat
jumper-sweater
trainspotter-a dork
diary-calendar,daytimer
it went off like a bomb-it was a success

Before you speak internationally talk to a cross cultural expert,read a book, and talk to the locals. And be careful when you say "on the job."

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Speaking is the Key to Success in a Recession

In a down market, business owners and business professionals have less money to spend on marketing. One of the most cost effective ways and underutilized marketing skills is public speaking. If you're looking for a job, try speaking on a panel at a professional organization or give a free presentation at the public library or rotary club. You never know who you'll meet.

As a business owner, you'll want to be more strategic. Speaking in front of the right groups can provide you with leads and business opportunities. But you must have good platform skills to market by speaking.

Listen to my tips in my radio interview with Jim Blasingame.

http://www.smallbusinessadvocate.com/small-business-interviews/diane-diresta-7254

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Can Your Prospects Smell Fear?

A new experiment from the University of Dusseldorf, Germany, studied students who were facing oral exams. They put absorbent pads under the armpits of students an hour before taking their exams. They tested the same students with absorbent pads again after they performed physical exercise.

A different group of students then sniffed the sweat from both samples while their brains were being scanned. While they couldn't tell the difference between the two types of sweat (pre-exam vs physical exercise), their brains showed different activity when sampling the pre-exam sweat. The areas of the brain that process social and emotional signals lit up including areas for empathy.

The conclusion? Anxiety triggers the release of a chemical automatically causing similar feelings in others who sniff the chemical. (Even though there is no conscious awareness). This could allow fear to spread quickly and accelerate our ability to run from danger.

The lesson? Prepare for your sales call or presentation, slab on some deodorant and don't sweat it!

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Deliver What You Promise

I'm speaking at a conference in Washington D.C. I met my friend as I was heading to the convention center and she was going back to her hotel room. She told me that she attended an early session to gain insights on her competition.
She was appalled by the session. When I asked why she said that the speaker knocked the competition and that the entire presentation was a commerical. He kept saying "Here's what we can do for you."

People don't want a sales pitch when they attend a presentation. They want information, ideas, and inspiration. The platform is a privlege. What some speakers don't understand is that they shoot themselves in the foot when they hardsell.

They disrespect the audience and the meeting planner who invited them to speak.
Provide value for the audience and they'll want to do business with you. In other words, when you deliver what you promise, you'll reap the rewards. Too much selling from the platform will cost you business.
Remember: Good platform skills plus valuable content= more business, a strong brand,and a better reputation.

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Ten Public Speaking Podcasts

I thought I'd share this series of podcasts for those of you who are auditory learners.

Knockout Presentations
Public Speaking Myths
Public Speaking Mistakes
Recovering from Public Speaing Mistakes
Overcoming Nervousness
Getting to the Point in Your Presentation
Setting the Stage for Success
Do You Really Know Your Audience?
Words That Will Kill Your Credibility
Speaking Skills for Women in Tough Economic Times

http://www.sbtv.com/DianeDiResta/1360

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Is Communication Really 93% Non-Verbal?

Anyone who has attended my presentation/communication skills seminars has heard me cite Professor Mehrabian's study that communication is 93% non-verbal. Apparently, we students of communication have been misquoting him.
His communication study referred only to situations involving emotion. When listening to a list of words, people determined their like or dislike based on how they felt about the words.
So what can we learn from this? When an emotion is being expressed, the feeling behind the words is the actual meaning. A denial of anger expressed in a loud, aggressive tone means the person is angry. Period. If you believe the words and ignore the tone, the communication will break down.
But when speaking from the stage or giving a business presentation, the words are incredibly powerful and convey the meaning of the content.
Yet,as a speaker and speaking strategist I know that unless your body language and tone convey conviction and confidence, the audience will tend to doubt your credibility. And when it comes to selling, enthusiasm sells. For the actual study click here:

http://www.bobpikegroup.com/articles_view.asp?columnid=3618&articleid;=60069

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

High Touch Equals High ROI

In 2005 I decided to become a woman certified business. Of course, I was dreading the process of dealing with the NYC government. The small business administration offered a free course to help with the application process so I signed up. What did I have to lose? I was expecting to be overwhelmed. To my surprise, the instructor made it a pleasant experience. He walked us through the document and clearly and simply explained the requirements. I was impressed by the ease of the process.
I decided to write a thank you note to the instructor for making the experience simple.
A couple of days later I received a phone call. It was from the instructor. He thanked me profusely. He was so grateful for my handwritten note. The way he was carrying on you would have thought he'd won the lottery. (Obviously, city workers aren't accustomed to praise.) He called to say that there was an event for newly certified businesses. Although I was not certified, he asked his boss if I could attend and she said yes. It was at that event that I met his boss. When she learned that I train speakers she said she needed my help. A short time later, she paid me $5000 for my business. I bypassed the proposal process and was hired directly. If I hadn't written that thank you note I wouldn't have met the decision-maker. That one thank you note resulted in $5000. Not bad ROI for 10 minutes of my time!

I still write thank you notes. But I also discovered an online tool that will allow me to send physical cards with my actual signature to build relationships and market my business anywhere in the world. If you'd like to see for yourself, visit http://www.creativefollowup.com

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Lecturing from the Lectern

Most people love to hide behind the lectern.. It makes them feel more secure. The only reason speakers should use a lectern is to hold notes.
Here are a few guidelines to make the lectern work for you.

Don’t lean. Create some space. Step back six to twelve inches from the lectern so that you can’t lean against it.

Stand up straight. Slumping posture will create a sloppy appearance.
Anchor your feet shoulder width apart and stay grounded. If you sway back and forth, you’ll look like a metronome. You don’t want to put people to sleep with hypnotic movement.

Prepare the lectern in advance. Place a glass of water underneath it. Position your notes for maximum readability.
Get familiar with any dials or buttons. Know how to turn on the reading light. Adjust the microphone. You don’t want to fumble with the panel.

Don't staple your notes. Place your manuscript to the left. Slide the top page from the left to the right. This will prevent the noisy flipping of pages.

Gesture high and wide. The lectern is a barrier. If your gestures are waist high, your audience won’t see them. If you don’t use gestures, you’ll appear stiff.

Push your energy. You’re not entirely visible and you’re reading your notes. So increase your vocal variety and enthusiasm. It may seem exaggerated to you, but it will sound just right to the audience.

Step to the side of the lectern. Don’t stay glued behind a wall of wood. Begin your presentation by stepping out in front to make your opening remarks. Then step behind the lectern to begin your speech. Find places where you can come out once again by telling a short story or giving an example. This helps you to connect with the audience.

Adjust the lectern for height. In some cases you may be able to request a special lectern if you’re very tall or very short. If you're shorter than 5 feet three inches, you may want to stand on a platform behind the podium to give you added height. Another option is to use a table podium.

Don’t make the lectern a barrier between you and your audience. Practice these principles for a polished presentation.

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

The Hierarchy of Presentations

I like this posting by Seth Godin.

A presentation is a precious opportunity. It's a powerful arrangement... one speaker, an attentive audience, all in their seats, all paying attention (at least at first). Don't waste it.

The purpose of a presentation is to change minds. That's the only reason I can think of to spend the time and resources. If your goal isn't to change minds, perhaps you should consider a different approach.

1. The best presentation is no presentation at all. If you can get by with a memo, send a memo. I can read it faster than you can present it and we'll both enjoy it more.
2. The second best presentation is one on one. No slides, no microphone. You look me in the eye and change my mind.
3. Third best? Live and fully interactive.
4. Powerpoint or Keynote, but with no bullets, just emotional pictures and stories.
5. And last best... well, if you really think you can change my mind by using tons of bullets and a droning presentation, I'm skeptical.

A presentation isn't an obligation, it's a privilege.

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2009/04/the-hierarchy-of-presentations.html

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Empowering Women to Breakthrough and Speak Out

I was a guest along with a great work-life expert Kathy Caprino, on a fabulous show: Live with Lisa! Radio – hosted by Lisa Wexler. The engaging discussion focused on the issue of women and reinvention, career transition, and speaking up with power. As a communications consultant and author of Knockout Presentations, I've seen how women sabotage their leadership and success by the way they communicate. Women, more often than men, tend to take fewer risks, wait for perfection before taking action, and speak with less conviction and authority.

It's clear that once women learn what confidence looks like, sounds like, and how to speak the language of confidence they gain greater respect, get promoted, and increase their salaries.

Click here to listen to the interview:

http://www.livewithlisaradio.com/

The show will be rebroadcast on Saturday,August 29th at 10:30 EST.

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Create a Knockout Opening

Your opening and closing are extremely important. You have 30 seconds or less to grab attention. Here are a few ways to begin your speech:

* Startling Statement - This could be a statistic or statement that immediately gets them to sit up and focus on the topic. Shock appeal is more effective in persuading the audience to understand the seriousness of your position.

* Surprising Action - Do something unexpected. Act clumsy when using technology. Then regain composure and ask the audience for their reaction. Drive home the point that your platform is easy to use and you will avoid looking foolish when you use technology that works.

* Humor - People love a good laugh. It relaxes them, makes them feel good, and breaks the ice. Don't tell jokes unless you are a really good joke teller but do use humorous statements and anecdotes.

* Purpose Statement - This is a direct way of letting them know your point. This opening technique is a good choice when there are time constraints or when your audience has a short attention span. For example, "In today's presentation, I am going to explain the four styles of leadership and why you must think of yourselves not as managers but as leaders."

* Begin with the End - Occasionally, you may start with your conclusion and then build your case taking them from beginning to end. By starting with the end result or bottom line you capture attention and can lead them to your way of thinking.

* Ask a Question - The speaker begins with a rhetorical question that makes the audience think. When posing a question make sure it is meaningful to the audience. Otherwise it will have little effect.

* Quote - A well-known quote can colorfully introduce the point you want to make. This is especially effective for business presentations when you want to acknowledge an industry leader or in house expert. You will need to skillfully weave the quote into your topic.

* Visual aid - Visual aids can be very effective in focusing attention. Cartoon strips work well as do thought-provoking pictures or props.

* Personal Experience - This technique builds good will and creates a connection with the audience. It helps you relate on a personal level. Many comedians take every day personal experiences and exaggerate them. The audience can relate because they have experienced it.

* Anecdote - A short story is a powerful way to open or close a presentation. An anecdote or story can help to lower the listeners' defenses. Stories draw the audience into the content. But the story must lead into the presentation topic quickly or the point will be lost.

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

How to Present at Tradeshows

Tradeshows are show business according to Susan Friedmann,the tradeshow coach and author of Meeting Planning for Dummies and Riches in Niches. "People need to prepare. They think miracles are going to happen just because they are there. You need a specific purpose." Friedmann poses these questions: Do you want to get new customers? Are you looking for new leads? Are you there to educate your target market? In addition to having a clear purpose you must have a quantifiable measure of your goals.

"Beware of trick-or-treaters" warns Friedmann."These are people looking for freebee items." She provides the perfect remedy for avoiding visitors who are not serious prospects. "Offer items that are related to your business such as a white paper or tip sheet. Only the people who are really interested in what you have to offer will take them,"she explains.
The biggest mistake in tradeshow presentations is that people don't know why they are there. Companies send their employees to the exhibit without any training. This is why you'll find exhibitors on cell phones, reading, or eating in the booth.
Friedmann says,"You are on display! When you're in the booth you're an actor on the stage. You have a role to play. She trains companies to be successful exhibitors but will also do phone coaching for small businesses.

Another issue is getting traffic to the booth. Friedmann reiterates that this is due to lack of planning. "To attract people you need a pre-show campaign. Send postcards prior to the event. Give customers and prospects an incentive. Show or tell them something new. Target quality visitors. When it comes to tradeshows, it's quantity not quality." You can qualify prospects using a letter system. On the back of the business card write a letter A for a hot lead (ready to buy), a B for an interested lead, etc.
Friedmann's number one tip for tradeshow success is Know clearly what you want!

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Get Set to Podcast

Setting the stage is not limited to conferences and theaters. If you plan to start podcasting your message,you don't need to visit an expensive recording studio. But you'll need to set up a studio from your home or office. Matthew Ebel, a musician and podcaster, presented tips at Boston podcamp.

First, consider the room shape. Ideally, you'll want to start with an empty room. He recommends rooms with high ceilings to reduce echos. Wall-to-wall carpeting will prevent the sound from bouncing. A walk in closet is an ideal venue for your studio.
Keep in mind that windows and doors will allow sound to seep in. Add curtains to windows, install bookshelves and add tapestries to the wall. This will absorb sound.
To reach Matthew visit matthewebel.com/

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

The Power is in the Follow Up

One of the most overlooked practices in business presentations is follow up.
Speakers spend so much time preparing (pre-work) and delivering the message, yet they forget to complete the process.
You can wow them from the platform but as soon as they lexit, your message may be left at the door. To reinforce the message, follow up with an email or phone call. Leave them a card with a few of your tips.

If you speak to market yourself, the power is in the follow up. Most people will not call you. It may take several contacts before anything happens. I spoke in 2003 at a networking breakfast. In 2004, someone from the audience called me to do business. Why not in 2003? They didn't have a need.

In April of this year, I sat next to someone who had been at the same 2003 event and remembered me. She asked if I did presentation training. I stayed in touch through emails, phone calls and lunch. In August we are going to run some seminars for the company.

Follow up is relationship building. This is especially true in networking. How often do people take a card and do nothing? Some networkers meet once and if nothing happens they move on. Success is not transactional. Success is about relationships.
Building the know-like-trust factor takes time. It's not about you-it's about them.
Focus on what you can do for others and follow up.

To create a followup system try this amazing tool http://www.creativefollowup.com

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Business Presentations: What I Learned At The Paul McCartney Concert

On Saturday night I went to the Paul McCartney concert at Citifield, the new Shea Stadium. The doors opened at 5:30. The time on the ticket was 6:30. The warm up act didn't play until 7:30. Warm up act? Hardly. There was a 45 minute intermission before Paul came on stage. Even thought the group from Dublin was good,the energy fizzled and was sublimated into fries, hotdogs and beer. The lesson? There was no flow to this event. The reason was obvious. All that down time is planned so that people will buy food.
And yes, Paul was amazing and the crowd rocked. But overall, I wasn't impressed by the event planning at Citifield. There was no build up. The energy waxed and waned. I was bored waiting for the main event.

Presenters need to understand the importance of staging. A presentation,like a concert is a performance. Just like a rock concert is not a ballgame, not all presentations should be staged in the same way. Speakers need to think strategically about their purpose, the outcome, the mood, the tempo, and the energy of the event. The person who introduces the speaker is a type of warm up act. Do they create excitement and anticipation or do they speak dispassionately?

If there's too much time between networking and the main event, the audience gets restless. If you're Paul McCartney you can transcend poor staging. But for most of us, when it comes to presentation performance, it's all about energy and flow.

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Business Presentations: Your Voice is Your Brand

This morning I called Sue Levine of CTS Travel 800-726-2757 x 113 to book my business trip. When I spoke to her on the phone she greeted me excitedly like an old friend. She said, "Hi Diane! Your voice mail says exactly what you do. Your tone is so upbeat and outgoing. I thought Wow! She doesn't have to use any promotional material because she spoke her message." Sue continued, "If I were looking for your service and heard your voice mail you'd be my number one choice. I could imagine you as a speaker. People must sit there listening to every word you say. In 35 years in the travel business, I can fathom from the voice and words what people and saying and not saying. And most voice mail is voice jail."

This was the first time I ever spoke to Sue. Talk about impact!

She got me thinking about a speech I gave last week on Presenting Your Brand. Even though the voice is 38% of the message in face-to-face communication,on the telephone your words and voice are 100% of the message. Yet, how often do we hear inappropriate personal voice messages, dispassionate tone, or garbled, rushed speech? What's the impact? A negative impression. We spend so much money on promotional materials and resumes to create a positive visual brand only to lose business because of an ineffective voice message. Your VOICE is your brand.

To hear my voice mail message call 212 481-8484 x312.

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!