Even Beauty Queens Need Good Presentation Skills

You say you don't need presentation skills? You're not a public speaker? Think again.
Beauty pageants aren't just about beauty. Did you know that the interview is 40% of the grade? That means if a contestant flubs the presentation there's a good chance she won't win the crown.

It's no different in business or the workplace. I've known very bright, competent people who lose instant credibility because of an inability to communicate or speak in public.
But don't take my word for it. See for yourself.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZ1lCR--_RE]

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Don't Assume You Know What Your Audience Wants

My friend, Vera Moore, launched her line of Vera Moore cosmetics at Duane Reed. It was exciting for her to get her product line in the New York City store next to Macy's. I stopped by to share in her celebration. I had just returned from a networking breakfast where the authors gave us two books. I was juggling my handbag, a small tote bag and these two books in my arms. The books were too big for the tote bag. It was cumbersome to say the least.

When I left Vera's cosmetic display, I noticed a table with a wheel in front of the store. People were lined up to spin the wheel to win a prize. The prizes were a Jersey Boys CD, a tee shirt, or some little souvenirs. If you didn't land on a prime spot you would get a plastic bag with a brochure. I really wanted the bag. The CD was good but I really needed that plastic bag to hold my books for my commute.

As I spun the wheel I was hoping it would not land on one of the prizes. In other words, for the first time in my life I was hoping to be a loser. And I got my wish! The needle landed on the white space and they gave the plastic bag as a consolation prize. I put my books in the bag and went on my way a lot happier and feeling a lot lighter.

What is the lesson here? How often do we think we know what the client or audience wants? We make decisions using our own criteria rather than what the audience values.
Why would anyone want a plastic bag as a prize? Because at that moment in time that was my most pressing need. I needed to free my hands.

A consultant friend had a client who paid him his entire fee in advance. He thought it was because of his good reputation and negotiation skills. He later discovered the real reason. The client told him that he always paid up front because then the company couldn't cancel his project.

People do things for their reasons, not our reasons.

Years ago a company decided to do business with me after looking over several proposals. I asked them why they chose me. I thought they'd say it was my training design or the price. I was stunned when they told me the reason. "We like you."
Wow! I hadn't considered that.

The next time you're preparing a presentation or going on a sales call, ask the audience what they want. You may be surprised by what you hear.

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Taking Audience Reaction A Little Too Personally?

I read a recent article in Forbes Woman entitled, Taking Things Too Personally? The article written by Heidi Brown, talks about how stress makes people "touchy" and overly sensitive to criticism in the workplace. I started to think about my clients and how nervous they feel in front of an audience. I sometimes think we take things personally and give the audience too much power.
I often tell people "Get Over Yourself!" If you're focusing on your fear or sense of rejection, you're being self-centered. It's not just about you.

This summer I was invited to speak at a scientific conference about public speaking.
The audience consisted of scientists, researchers, physicians, health care providers, and a few performers. It was stated up front that there was very little research on the science of public speaking. I felt resistance in the audience who valued research studies and data. One man actually opened his laptop and started typing. At first I was concerned and thought he was checking emails. Then I told myself, maybe he's taking notes on my talk! :)
I was so confident in my subject that I knew I was offering value. It may not have been the message they wanted to hear but it was a message they needed to hear.
Too many technical experts read their research studies and clutter their slides with tiny print. They needed a new perspective and I was going to be the one to tell them.

During the Q&A; session I was challenged a couple of times. I smiled and said thank you. It's okay to be challenged. It's fine for people to disagree. There were also people who loved my talk and how I delivered it.

The questions to ask yourself are "Am I in integrity?" "Am I speaking my truth as I know it?" "Do I care about the audience?" "Am I open to different opinions and ideas?" "Do I believe in my message?"

A day later, the coordinator emailed me and told me about one of the presenters.
A physician had stopped in the middle of her presentation. She said, "Oh, I'm reading my slides. Diane DiResta said not to read the slides."
Something got through. The message landed. As speakers we may have an impact and never know about it.

So...realize that your audience comes with their own expectations, experiences, and filters through which they see the world. It's easy to be confident when everybody hangs on your every word.

The real test is to stand with confidence and not react to every response from the audience. In other words, don't take it personally.

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Does Your Audience Trust You?

On Friday morning, I heard Chris Brogan speak on a panel at the Harvard Club in New York City. The topic was about the New Relationship Economy and the Trust Economy. He said "we are farmers and stewards, not machinists". Another panelist, Charlie Green, said the doctrine of competition is poisoning the economy. "People trust people-not companies," he explained.

The third panelist, Julien Smith, referenced social media as the new megaphone. The reasons for trust are the same but the set of tools are changing over time. "We know what body language signals mean", he stated. "There is a new model of trust modeled online". If we don't answer emails for three days, the lack of response impacts trust. Each person left with books from the authors.

So what are the implications of building trust for speaking?
My first observation of this panel was the high level of preparation and delivery of the speakers. Each panelist spoke for exactly five minutes.
Embedded in those five minutes were nuggets of information and food for thought.

The event began with networking and breakfast and the presentation began on time. When the speakers finished, the rest of the meeting was for the audience. This style is Chris Brogan's signature. As a celebrity at podcamp, he believes that the expertise is in the room and not just in the minds of the speakers.
I would say that there was a good level of trust from this audience.

So how do you create trust with your audience?
1. Deliver what you promise. If you advertise a 9:00 start time, don't start at 9:15.
2. Create community. People bond around food. When one of my corporate clients cut back on breakfast, I brought in donuts. Allow people to mingle and make small talk to feel comfortable and connected.
3. Provide value in manageable segments. Trust expands when you respect people's time. Give them information they can use.
4. Share personal experience. We trust people who are real and who are most like us.
5. Involve and engage. Podcamp is called the "unconference". That's because the members of the audience contribute as much during the sessions as the speaker. A friend of mine shared a story with me. He was at a sales conference. During the presentation he raised his hand to offer an additional tip from his own experience. The speaker, feeling threatened, shot back "Excuse me. This is my speech." My friend was devastated. If you come from ego, you'll alienate the audience.

The new model of speaking is discourse not monologue.
When people can share ideas and opinions and they feel heard and respected, trust will grow exponentially.

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Are You Losing Your Audience When You Speak?

Yesterday I attended a meeting about successful change in the workplace. It was about the merger between Bank of New York and Mellon Bank. The speaker talked about the importance of employee engagement. When there is transparent communication, and regular feedback people feel engaged. And engagement is directly related to shareholder value.

I started to think about public speaking. Your audience, in a sense, is your shareholder base. They have a share or stake in your message. But too often they stop listening and are more connected to their blackberries than to the speaker. We lose our audience because they are not engaged.

One reason the audience disconnects, is because the speaker is too verbose. Studies show that shorter audio recordings have a higher per centage of play through than longer audios. After 10 minutes people stop listening. The average song is less than five minutes. So in order for people to listen longer than 10 minutes you must have compelling content.

To engage your audience remember these three simple tips:
1. Keep it short
2. Deliver information they really want
3. Ask them for feedback

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Present Your Business the Old Fashioned Way

What do email and snail mail have in common? They are both a form of communication, more specifically a form of business presentation. It seems like email is the preferred way to communicate. But consider this. How many of your ecards get through your client's spam filter? When they're busy do you think they read your ecard? Technology is great. We can now reach a global audience in seconds.
But nothing takes the place of the personal touch.

Today, a small business person approached me to learn about using a greeting card program. This program allows anyone to send a physical card in a stamped envelope from their computer anywhere in the world. He wanted to promote his wonderful art without being salesy. He realized that his ecards were cluttering the client's inbox and not accomplishing his goal. He decided to add photos of his art on to real paper cards as a way of showcasing his business and staying in touch with his clients.

People will delete email but they will open a personal note or card. The message you send is "I care. I took the time for you. I appreciate you." It's been said that actions speak louder than words. It's all about the presentation and the best presentations make a personal connection.

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Uptalk is Detrimental Even in High School

I received this email from a high school student.

I am a junior in the Behavior Social Seminar program in Roslyn High School. I am currently investigating the perceptions of upspeak and came across your work in Ezine articles. The article was titled "Does Uptalk Make You Upchuck?". I was wondering if you would be able to tell me where you found your information regarding upspeak. Where did you find evidence that upspeak would cause others to have a negative perception of you? Your assistance would be greatly appreciated. Thank You. S.S.

Here was my response:

Dear S.S.

I know uptalk is a problem because companies send me professionals and executives who are not coming across powerfully.
When I work with them, uptalk is often one of their issues. I worked with one woman who couldn't get promoted to Vice President until she came across more powerfully. She learned how to speak with authority and got promoted.

In addition, there have been other reports about this communication pattern. I was interviewed by the London Guardian several years ago. Apparently it's a problem there as well. You can google them.

When I ask people about their perceptions of uptalk it's always negative. To sound authoritative the intonation goes down at the end of a sentence.
If your intonation goes up, it sounds as if you're asking a question. It's also known that a deeper voice sounds more authoritative than a higher pitch.

If you're looking for empirical studies you can check some of the communication journals although I don’t know of any.
As a research project, you could audiotape girls or women with and without uptalk. Have them say the same thing so that content is not a factor.
Then ask strangers which person is more confident, successful, etc.

Tally the results. I'll bet I can predict the outcome. This could be an interesting science project for you.

Thank you for contacting me.
If you'd like more tips on speaking you can read my book Knockout Presentations.

Best regards,
Diane DiResta www.diresta.com

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Words That Drive Us Wacky

A Marist poll was released yesterday ranking the most annoying words and expressions. Guess which word ranked number 1? If you're a parent of a teen you already know the answer. The number 1 annoying word was "whatever". Coming in second was "you know".

Eleven per cent found the word "anyway" to be most annoying while 7 per cent disliked "at the end of the day".

Interestingly, there were regional differences. Fifty-five per cent of Midwesterners found "whatever" the most annoying while people from the Northeast rated "whatever" and "you know" equally annoying.

I explain in my speeches and workshops that there is a science of speaking. I show my clients what confidence looks like, sounds like, and how to speak the language of confidence. Now we have the data!

Using fillers such as "you know" can create a negative perception. I've worked with people who couldn't get promoted until they sounded more "professional".

Parents I didn't know emailed me to ask how they could get their children to "speak clearly" and not sound like a "cartoon character".

And, executives are not off the hook. Think about all the buzz words you hear at meetings:
"Going forward", "At the end of the day", "More bang for the buck", "I've got my ducks lined up", etc. It's so pervasive that people are playing B.S. Bingo at meetings. When they hear five of these annoying words or expressions they call out "bingo"!

The Wall Street Journal interviewed me about this subject. To read the article visit this link:

http://www.filife.com/stories/bad-speech-habits-can-hinder-advancement

If you want to advance, work on your speech. What's your most annoying word?

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Politics and Presentations

Last night I attended a Town Hall meeting. The crowd was quite vocal and not at all reticent about expressing strong opinions regarding health care reform. Some people rambled, some got to the point, while others heckled. Then one college student approached the microphone. She was well prepared as she gave her name and her major. The young woman referred to her notes and stayed on message. When the crowd got loud she got louder. She never backed down and continued until she made her point. This student was clear, prepared and passionate. When she finished the Congressman stopped her. "What was your major again?" he asked. She told him. He said, "Send me your resume."

I don't remember exactly what she said but I remember her. You never know where you will find an opportunity to find a job or make a sale. This student wasn't there to find a job. but because of her passion and presentation skills she attracted a job interview.

The lesson? Be in principle and on purpose.
The next time you're going about your business speaking your mind, someone, somewhere, just might make you an offer.

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Is Speaking a Mental Game?

We've heard that golf is a mental game. But what about speaking? Public speaking still tops the list of all fears. What is fear? It's a belief, a thought, a perception. It's not tangible although you can see the signs of fear manifest in shaky knees or a sweaty brow.

When you're relaxed you speak better. When you're fearful, your body stiffens and your mind goes blank. That's a mental game. In the book, The Inner Game of Golf, author W. Timothy Gallwey talks about how the mind interferes with performance.
He created a formula to explain how this mental interference works:
P=p-i. The quality of your performance (P) is equal to your potential (p) minus the interference with the expression of that potential (i). In other words, Performance equals Self 2 (potential) minus Self 1 (mental interference).

Gallwey discovered that changing the negative self talk actually improved his golf game. It's the same with speaking.

Everybody has the potential to give an effective presentation. The reason it's not effective is because of negative thinking which causes us not to prepare, to nervously ramble on, and freeze up.
Fear is not real-it's imagined. It begins and ends in your mind.
You can take classes, get coached, and read books. But when you work on your mental game that's when you take your performance to the next level and give a Knockout Presentation!

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Three Best Ways to Make a Viral Video

Social media has leveled the playing field. You can bypass expensive ad agencies and create your own video to promote yourself or your business. The question is, how do you get your message out there? The Wall Street Journal recently published an article on the three best ways to make a viral video. To read the story and my quote, click here:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204488304574435020939186220.html

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

How to Give an Acceptance Speech

It’s that time again-we just watched the Emmy awards.
You may not win an Emmy or an Oscar but the moment may come when you receive an award. You’re excited. You’re honored. But wait! You’ll have to give an acceptance speech. What do you say? And how do you say it?
Don’t worry. You’ll shine on stage as long as you remember these tips:

1.Keep it brief. Most award ceremonies don’t allot much time to the recipients. So honor the time limits and don’t hog the stage. No one wants to hear you drone on.

2.Plan your message. Don’t be caught unprepared. Even if you think winning is a long shot, prepare a few message points and write down the names of people to thank. You don’t want to forget them in the excitement of the moment

3.Stay focused. Speakers go on too long because they ramble instead of concentrating on their message points. Practice and time your speech and
don’t go off on tangents.

4.Thank key people. It’s not always possible to thank every person so mention the VIPs and group others into categories. “I’d like to thank the cast and crew…

Whatever Happened to "I'm Sorry"?

Years ago a parent accused a teacher of denigrating her child's lifestyle. Of course, that wasn't what he said but she insisted that he apologize. The principal,being in a tight spot, decided to support the parent. The teacher didn't want to apologize for something he never said, so he wrote a letter saying he was sorry that the parent misunderstood, etc. He told me how he had finessed the apology without accepting responsibility. He knew was innocent of the charges.

Today, it seems that this is too often the case when people are guilty of some wrong doing.
When David Letterman disparaged Bristol Palin, his first apology was more of a joke than contrition. Only after pressure did he actually apologize.

Most recently Kanye West grabbed the microphone and interrupted Taylor Swift's acceptance speech. His first response was to justify his actions, adding that no disrespect was intended. Only after intense pressure and increased outrage did he actually said he was sorry.

A basic rule in media training is this:
When a crisis occurs, take responsibility and do it quickly.
When people in business or in the public eye, beat around the bush and talk around an apology, it only festers. Kanye is now in a major damage control situation and continues to say his mea culpas.

If you've made an error in a professional or personal situation, apologize. Effective communication is clear, specific, and direct. When you're wrong, say so. Like the words of the old Brenda Lee song, say "I'm sorry."

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Are You Speaking English or American?

Early in my training career, I was sent to the London office to give a management skills seminar.The British were pleasant and receptive. At one point I told them that "These are skills you can use back on the job." All of sudden I heard a burst of laughter. I knew it couldn't have been my humor. Was the transfer of skills really that funny? I soon realized that "on the job" was the British equivalent of turning a trick. Uh oh. How was I to know? Nothing prepared me for that.

It was announced today that Mayor Bloomberg of New York City and Boris Johnson signed a two year deal to promote cross-Atlantic visits between London and New York.

So,if you speak in London, avoid putting your foot in your mouth. Here are some common terms to know:

bladdered-drunk
braces-suspenders
lorry-truck
mack-raincoat
jumper-sweater
trainspotter-a dork
diary-calendar,daytimer
it went off like a bomb-it was a success

Before you speak internationally talk to a cross cultural expert,read a book, and talk to the locals. And be careful when you say "on the job."

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Speaking is the Key to Success in a Recession

In a down market, business owners and business professionals have less money to spend on marketing. One of the most cost effective ways and underutilized marketing skills is public speaking. If you're looking for a job, try speaking on a panel at a professional organization or give a free presentation at the public library or rotary club. You never know who you'll meet.

As a business owner, you'll want to be more strategic. Speaking in front of the right groups can provide you with leads and business opportunities. But you must have good platform skills to market by speaking.

Listen to my tips in my radio interview with Jim Blasingame.

http://www.smallbusinessadvocate.com/small-business-interviews/diane-diresta-7254

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Can Your Prospects Smell Fear?

A new experiment from the University of Dusseldorf, Germany, studied students who were facing oral exams. They put absorbent pads under the armpits of students an hour before taking their exams. They tested the same students with absorbent pads again after they performed physical exercise.

A different group of students then sniffed the sweat from both samples while their brains were being scanned. While they couldn't tell the difference between the two types of sweat (pre-exam vs physical exercise), their brains showed different activity when sampling the pre-exam sweat. The areas of the brain that process social and emotional signals lit up including areas for empathy.

The conclusion? Anxiety triggers the release of a chemical automatically causing similar feelings in others who sniff the chemical. (Even though there is no conscious awareness). This could allow fear to spread quickly and accelerate our ability to run from danger.

The lesson? Prepare for your sales call or presentation, slab on some deodorant and don't sweat it!

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Deliver What You Promise

I'm speaking at a conference in Washington D.C. I met my friend as I was heading to the convention center and she was going back to her hotel room. She told me that she attended an early session to gain insights on her competition.
She was appalled by the session. When I asked why she said that the speaker knocked the competition and that the entire presentation was a commerical. He kept saying "Here's what we can do for you."

People don't want a sales pitch when they attend a presentation. They want information, ideas, and inspiration. The platform is a privlege. What some speakers don't understand is that they shoot themselves in the foot when they hardsell.

They disrespect the audience and the meeting planner who invited them to speak.
Provide value for the audience and they'll want to do business with you. In other words, when you deliver what you promise, you'll reap the rewards. Too much selling from the platform will cost you business.
Remember: Good platform skills plus valuable content= more business, a strong brand,and a better reputation.

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Ten Public Speaking Podcasts

I thought I'd share this series of podcasts for those of you who are auditory learners.

Knockout Presentations
Public Speaking Myths
Public Speaking Mistakes
Recovering from Public Speaing Mistakes
Overcoming Nervousness
Getting to the Point in Your Presentation
Setting the Stage for Success
Do You Really Know Your Audience?
Words That Will Kill Your Credibility
Speaking Skills for Women in Tough Economic Times

http://www.sbtv.com/DianeDiResta/1360

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

Is Communication Really 93% Non-Verbal?

Anyone who has attended my presentation/communication skills seminars has heard me cite Professor Mehrabian's study that communication is 93% non-verbal. Apparently, we students of communication have been misquoting him.
His communication study referred only to situations involving emotion. When listening to a list of words, people determined their like or dislike based on how they felt about the words.
So what can we learn from this? When an emotion is being expressed, the feeling behind the words is the actual meaning. A denial of anger expressed in a loud, aggressive tone means the person is angry. Period. If you believe the words and ignore the tone, the communication will break down.
But when speaking from the stage or giving a business presentation, the words are incredibly powerful and convey the meaning of the content.
Yet,as a speaker and speaking strategist I know that unless your body language and tone convey conviction and confidence, the audience will tend to doubt your credibility. And when it comes to selling, enthusiasm sells. For the actual study click here:

http://www.bobpikegroup.com/articles_view.asp?columnid=3618&articleid;=60069

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!

High Touch Equals High ROI

In 2005 I decided to become a woman certified business. Of course, I was dreading the process of dealing with the NYC government. The small business administration offered a free course to help with the application process so I signed up. What did I have to lose? I was expecting to be overwhelmed. To my surprise, the instructor made it a pleasant experience. He walked us through the document and clearly and simply explained the requirements. I was impressed by the ease of the process.
I decided to write a thank you note to the instructor for making the experience simple.
A couple of days later I received a phone call. It was from the instructor. He thanked me profusely. He was so grateful for my handwritten note. The way he was carrying on you would have thought he'd won the lottery. (Obviously, city workers aren't accustomed to praise.) He called to say that there was an event for newly certified businesses. Although I was not certified, he asked his boss if I could attend and she said yes. It was at that event that I met his boss. When she learned that I train speakers she said she needed my help. A short time later, she paid me $5000 for my business. I bypassed the proposal process and was hired directly. If I hadn't written that thank you note I wouldn't have met the decision-maker. That one thank you note resulted in $5000. Not bad ROI for 10 minutes of my time!

I still write thank you notes. But I also discovered an online tool that will allow me to send physical cards with my actual signature to build relationships and market my business anywhere in the world. If you'd like to see for yourself, visit http://www.creativefollowup.com

DiResta Communications, Inc.Communicating With Impact!