They're Just Not That Into You

I've coached a lot of speakers and I've seen more speakers than I can count. And I've discovered that there is more to great speaking than excellent platform skills. We've all seen speakers who have perfect timing, never say um, have a well organized speech and exude confidence on stage. Yet, there's something the audience doesn't like about them. It could be air of arrogance, they may appear slick, or their words sound pretentious. If the audience can't connect they don't like the speaker. After working with so many clients and speaking to numerous groups I started to realize that people's success depended on how well they were liked. According to a Yale University study, people gain success not by aggression but by being nice. Being respected is good; being liked is even better. Juries award higher compensation to people they like. The most likable candidate usually wins an election. During the Democratic primary,Hillary Clinton's likability surfaced as an issue. Obama was perceived as more likable and won. During tough economic times, when a manager has to choose who gets a pink slip it won't be the the employee who is most liked. Employers hire people they like, clients do business with people they like, and sometimes likable students may even get a higher grade. So, if you want your message to be heard, if you want to influence, you've got to be liked.

What is likability? Find out in this video. http://www.youtube.com/dianediresta#p/u/0/wZd4Az8eDnE

DiResta Communications, Inc. Communicating With Impact!

Did BP's Chairman Diss the American People?

Carl-Henric Svanberg, Swedish Chair of BP was blasted for his comment about "small people".Here is what he said:

..."He's frustrated because he cares about the small people and we care about the small people. "I hear comments sometime that large oil companies or greedy companies that don't care but that is not the case in BP. We care about the small people."

Had this been said by an American it would have been condescending;however, Mr. Svanberg is Swedish. English is a second language. He was referring to President Obama's frustration about the impact on the people in the Gulf area and he was saying that he shares his frustration and concern for the people.

When it comes to communication, there is a sender and a receiver, an intention and an effect. My belief is that Mr. Svanberg's intention was to show concern for the common man and to convey that they are sorry for the oil spill and it's impact.

The effect was to trigger emotion and a feeling that he was talking down to the citizens. Two words-"small people"caused this reaction. And that is the power of language. Language and culture don't always translate. When the Chevy Nova was introduced in Mexico it didn't sell. NOVA in Spanish translated into" No Go".

It would have been more effective if the Chairman had used the terms, American people, people in the gulf region, or the workers. When listening to words we also need to listen for intention. And when somebody is speaking a foreign language, understand that there will be miscommunication.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th3LtLx0IEM

DiResta Communications, Inc. Communicating With Impact!

Did the Internet Kill the Acceptance Speech?

Last night I watched the Tony awards. Whether it's the Tonys, Emmys or Oscars it's the same experience. People give boring speeches thanking a long list of people. Enter the internet.The Webby Awards is the internet equivalent of the other awards shows. The Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences honors excellence on the internet.

This year recipients had to give an acceptance speech no longer than five words. Even Twitter allows 140 characters. Talk about a challenge! It takes great clarity of thought to get a meaningful message across in five words. My clients discover how much more powerful they sound when they speak in soundbites and not in long, drawn out sentences. But can it be done effectively in an acceptance speech?

Here are a few from prior Webby awards:

"Please don't recount this vote. "-Al Gore. "Thank God Conan got promoted."-Jimmy Fallon

The shortest Presidential inaugural speech was given by George Washington in 1789. It was 135 words long. (Was this the precursor to social media?)

What if Winston Churchill gave his inspirational World War II speech in five words or less? "Never give in. Never. Never."

Does it get the message across? How about applying this to an elevator speech? One of my favorites is by Ron Karr, of Ron Karr Associates in New Jersey- Sell more in less time.

When Paul McCartney received a grammy for his music in Wings, his acceptance speech was two words-"Thank you!"

So what do you think? Should the Oscar speeches be limited to five words? Maybe then we could get to bed early. You decide.

DiResta Communications, Inc. Communicating With Impact!

A Product Launch is a Presentation

I was in line for a sample sale on Fifth Avenue in New York. While I was waiting to get into the showroom, a woman came up to me and asked if she could talk to me about a new product. She began by holding a small purple bottle in her hand. She told me the company was launched a year ago and the founder was a modern day Carrie Bradshaw (Sex in the City). She pontificated about the founder's fashion background, her love of New York City and a desire to combine beauty products and fashion. As I listened I noticed the young woman was wearing shades and I couldn't see her eyes. This created a disconnect for me. Although it was sunny we were standing in the shade. I couldn't connect with her.

She talked about the product creams that were made from pearls and silk and were an all-in-one cosmetic. As the blathering continued, a mild ennui enveloped me. I wondered when she would get to the point. I didn't know what she wanted from me. Finally the verbal vomiting came to a halt. She asked "Would you like to be on our mailing list?" My knee jerk response? "No. Not without a sample."

She had to be kidding. What possible benefit could I derive from that offer? It wasn't even an offer. It was a taking.

So what was wrong with this presentation?

There was no connection. She should have removed her shades to make contact. We connect through the eyes. The presentation was speaker-centered- not listener-centered. Asking me a couple of questions about my skin care needs would have been a lot more effective. And she should have given out samples and then talked about results. At the very least, she could have opened the bottle she was holding and poured a few drops on my hand. This woman went on too long about the founder. Who cares? Do you buy Revlon because you like Charles Revson? If your goal is to build a database you need to entice people with an offer that they care about. There wasn't even a card with a website address.

I always say, "Life is a presentation and everyone is a public speaker." I guess the presenter forgot about that.

DiResta Communications, Inc. Communicating With Impact!

7 Tips for Speaking Internationally

It’s a global world and eventually you’ll be speaking to an international audience. At the very least, the global world has come to you. Most cities have become multicultural workplaces. I’ve spoken in Africa, the Caribbean, Europe, the Middle East, and South America and although people are the same everywhere, the way we communicate is different. Here are some tips I’ve learned along the way to be successful when speaking internationally.

1. Study the Culture. Learn the protocol to gain trust and avoid miscommunication.

Know whether you should shake hands or bow. Know the policy on gift-giving. A good book on International protocol is Kiss, Bow or Shake Hands and the new book by Jan Yager called Grow Global.

2. Meet the Translator. Will they use simultaneous or consecutive translation? Did they study British or American English? Explain all idioms in your speech. It makes a difference.

3. Speak Slowly-even more slowly than usual. When English is a second language it takes longer to process and translate into their own language.

4. Use Body Language Carefully. You can unintentionally insult the audience with certain gestures. You would never expose the sole of your shoe to an Arab audience. And the A-ok sign in the U.S. is an obscenity in Brazil.

5. Speak the Native Language. The greatest rapport builder is to say a few words in the native tongue. The best time to do this is in your greeting. When I spoke in Tanzania, I said, "Good morning. I’m happy to be here" in Kiswahili. The audience broke into applause. Little gestures have great impact.

6. Avoid Humor. Even if you’re naturally funny, it just doesn’t translate across cultural and language barriers. Stick to your message but do smile. Smiling is a universal language of good will.

7. Learn their Idioms. Don’t assume that because you’re addressing an English speaking culture that you speak the same language. You don’t. I learned this the hard way. When addressing a company in the U.K. I told them that these management skills could be used “on the job.

China Surpasses United States in the Number of Women Entrepreneurs, Says Communications Expert Diane DiResta

It's small business week. Do you know how women entrepreneurs are doing? Diane DiResta, owner and CEO of DiResta Communications, attended the Global Summit of Women May 20-22 at the Marriott City Wall Hotel in Beijing and reports that there are more women entrepreneurs in China than the entire United States population at 300 million. The Global Summit of Women celebrated its 20th year with the theme, "Women at the Forefront of Change." The annual conference, headed by Irene Natividad, is unique in that it brings together government leaders, Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs), corporations and entrepreneurs who are committed to improving women's economic status worldwide. The conference attracted 1000 women from around the world with Mongolia being the largest group. Presentations were in English and Chinese.

Prior to the summit DiResta was invited to a briefing and reception at the United States Embassy. The panel concurred that the key to doing business with the Chinese is building lasting relationships. Professor Qing qi' Shir stated that despite the extraordinary number of Chinese women entrepreneurs, the number one roadblock for Chinese women business owners is access to capital and the primary source of information and technology is the Internet. She shared that 97% are optimistic about the economic future. China had a 9.8% growth rate during the financial crisis.

Some of the speakers included: The honorable Nguyen Thi Doan, Vice President of Vietnam, First Lady Salma Kikwete of Tanzania, Hon. Maud Olofsson, Deputy Prime Minister, Sweden, and Cheng Hong, Vice Mayor of Beijing. A highlight of the conference was the introduction of the first Saudi woman to become a government representative. Social, economic and political leadership issues were discussed. In Tanzania, for example, getting tested for HIV is a stigma so the First Lady stepped up and got tested in public.

The conference provided an economic opportunity for local women who could set up a booth and sell their jewelry and wares.

Ms. DiResta, who is an International speaker and public speaking strategist, stated "The conference shattered myths and misconceptions we have of each other. I was surprised when two women from Oman sat next to me and invited me to two of their conferences. I didn't realize there were so many women entrepreneurs." One woman changed her opinion about Americans when she met someone from the U.S. who could speak several languages.

Across cultures, a major universal issue still remains: Women are underrepresented on boards, as corporate CEOs, and in getting funded.

Next year's conference will be held in May 2011 in Istanbul, Turkey.

DiResta Communications, Inc. Communicating With Impact!

The Elevator Speech: Your 60 Second Pitch

Have you ever been to a networking meeting, you hear the first person introduce himself and you turn to your friend and say, "What does he do?" If you're confused it's because people ramble on about themselves without much preparation or consideration for the audience. Nobody cares about your product or service. And nobody wants to listen to a sales pitch. Imagine you're in an elevator and you meet a perfect prospect. As the doors close you have 60 seconds to introduce yourself and attract their interest. How do you succinctly and clearly get your message across when you only have a minute? A good elevator pitch tells the listener what you do, how it benefits them, and the results they can expect.

To learn more watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30v47UsPuR0

DiResta Communications, Inc. Communicating With Impact!

We Do Judge A Book By It's Cover

Today I was leaving from the office to attend a networking luncheon. It was a warm, sunny day so I decided to take the bus and walk a few blocks to the hotel. As I was exiting the bus, a sixty-five year old man leaned over and said,"Are you wearing Chanel?" I paused for a moment thinking he was referring to my perfume. I realized that he was admiring my suit. Sadly, I told him it wasn't Chanel but accepted the question as a compliment. I was a little early so I stopped into a clothing boutique. As I entered the store, the male security guard said, "That's a nice suit." I thanked him and wondered how I had garnered two compliments in five minutes. Once I arrived at the event there was 30 minutes of networking. A woman passed by and admired my suit. Well, that's not surprising. Women are fashion conscious and it makes for good small talk. After all, New York City is a fashion hub. At around 5:30 p.m. I left to meet my cousin at Starbucks at Rockefeller Center. A woman stopped me on the street and told me how nice my suit was. What was going on? Four complete strangers of both genders complimented my attire. Was something in the air? I don't think so. I've had people admire the suit before. It must be that it's an attractive suit. And what does that have to do with presentations?

You are a personal brand.The way you speak, how you carry yourself, and what you wear are signaling and communicating your brand, your style. It's your presentation to the world. And... while we can't judge a book by its cover, we often do make judgments about how people look. It takes seven seconds or less to make a first impression. People will actually discount what you say to believe what they see. That's the impact of the visual!

When you're in a book store, the first thing that makes you pick up a book is the cover. If it's not attractive, it stays on the shelf. Marketers spend thousands of dollars in research to test the right packaging design. People buy the bottle before they buy the perfume.

Your audience is making judgments before you begin to speak. Does your visual presentation support your message? Do you look credible? Do you carry yourself with confidence? They say that clothes don't make the man. Well, from my experience it sure helps when you wear a nice suit.

DiResta Communications, Inc. Communicating With Impact!

Life is a Presentation and Memorials are No Exception

Last night I attended the memorial service for Laurie Meyer, owner of Programs Plus Speakers Bureau in New York City. She died in January at the age of 57 of cancer. It was a shock to all. Laurie was an active member of MPI (Meeting Professionals International) and the NY chapter rallied and planned a memorial service for her.

While the purpose of a memorial service is to honor and remember the life of the loved one, how it's staged, and how people communicate can have a major impact. Last night, all the rules of good presentation were fulfilled. The memorial was effectively organized and represented Laurie well. Booking the service in a comedy club was very much in keeping with Laurie's passion for doing stand up. A video of Laurie doing her comedy act made an impactful and attention-getting opener. Laurie's sister thanked everyone and was the first speaker. The emcee kept the evening moving by clearly and concisely announcing each speaker.

The program provided a variety of tributes-songs, poems, comedy acts, personal readings and sharing from the heart. Each person spoke for about three minutes or less and quickly exited the stage. The presenters provided a good balance of laughter and tears. The evening gently ended with people gathering for food and conversation.

As with all presentations, success results from good planning and coordination, choosing the right venue, a strong captivating opening, a variety of messages and styles targeted to the right audience, speaking from the heart to create engagement and an opportunity to meet afterward to bond with the audience.

Laurie will be missed and even in her absence she taught us how to present a great meeting.

DiResta Communications, Inc. Communicating With Impact!

Laughter Is Good for You and Your Audience

We've heard the stories about the healing power of laughter. Scientists are now "graphing the laugh" and it's a serious subject. They've discovered that even animals laugh (no, not just hyenas). In the research lab, rats would continue to return to handlers who tickled them. Dr. Robert Provine, author of Laughter: A Scientific Investigation, studied laughter for years and concluded that laughter is mostly social and only a very small percentage of laughter is a result of joke telling. Laughter can actually produce a chemical that acts as an anti depressant in the brain. While there is no scientific evidence that laughter alone produces a direct health benefit, it's enough that laughter feels good and creates good feelings. So don't stress yourself if you can't tell a joke. Laughter is about engagement. You can project a funny cartoon, show a humorous video clip or even play off the humor of the audience. All you need to create laughter is another person. Nervous? Laughing is a good way to burn off nervous stress. Facing a hostile audience? Get them laughing. You can't be angry and laugh at the same time. So stop being so serious and bring a little laughter into your presentations.

DiResta Communications, Inc. Communicating With Impact!

Talk Your Way to Small Business Success!

Sunday, April 25 2010 By Susan Wilson Solovic

Successful entrepreneurs are great visionaries, but they also share the gift of gab. They know how to communicate their ideas in an engaging way so others can see and embrace the vision too. More simply stated, they are excellent story-tellers and evangelists for their companies.

In today’s competitive marketplace, communication skills are an important competitive advantage. In fact, Diane DiResta, a professional speech coach and author of “Knockout Presentations: How to Deliver Your Message with Power, Punch and Pizzazz,

Seth Godin: A Knockout Public Speaker

Last month I heard Seth Godin speak at the Small Biz Summit in New York City. He was there to promote his new book, Linchpin. It was the first time I'd heard him speak and he blew me away! I turned to my friend and said, "Now that's a professional speaker!." What was it about Seth's presentation that was so exciting?First, he had a very challenging room set-up. It was two rooms in one divided by a wall with the stage angled between both audiences. The two audiences could only see part of the other room of people. Yet, as a masterful public speaker, Seth pivoted between the two groups with ease never losing the connection.

His energy and enthusiasm never waned. He was so passionate about his subject that we hung on his every word.

But he didn't rely on energy alone.There was substance combined with the sizzle. His message warned us that complacency in our businesses or careers would render us obsolete. This was based on trends that he studied.

The final reason he captured and kept our attention was his PowerPoint. Yes, PowerPoint. Every slide was a picture. We couldn't dismiss him and read the slides. Like a good ad, the visuals flashed before us with each point burned into our brains.

We left his presentation informed, entertained, motivated, and inspired. Each person received a complimentary copy of his book. And the greatest gift was the gift of himself. He stayed behind to sign each book. Public Speaking Lessons Learned: Work the room Be entertaing Engage the audience Energy and passion sell Choose visual images over words Deliver a message with substance Offer a gift Stay behind to talk

DiResta Communications, Inc. Communicating With Impact!

Shame On Nike

After seeing the Nike commercial of Tiger Woods several times I started thinking about the impact on you- the audience and what that means for your presentations. The pundits loved the ad. They thought it was a piece of brilliant advertising. I did not! Am I alone in this opinion? Here's how that ad impacted me. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NTRvlrP2NU]

I thought it was manipulative, contrived,and downright creepy to hear the voice of Earl Woods from the grave. It was manipulative and contrived because Tiger became a willing actor in the ad. He stood in front of the camera and made a remorseful face. It wasn't authentic. It also seemed humiliating. Once again, we don't see the real person; just an image of what Nike thinks Tiger needs to project. Nike wants to keep his endorsement without alienating the public. So they used his father to chastise him as if to say, Nike doesn't approve of his behavior. People see through this.

What was more effective for me was the Jimmy Kimmel spoof of the ad. It made me laugh out loud and it delivered the same message- Tiger's behavior was not okay.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MA1RubbZphg]

When speakers act instead of relating;when presenters speak from a script instead of from their hearts, they lose their authenticity. And that's when they lose their audience. If you make a mistake, acknowledge it and go on. If you're not perfect, so what? When we try to "get over" on our audience we're insulting them. People see through phoniness.

Be real, Be sincere, Be you.

DiResta Communications, Inc. Communicating With Impact!

Life is a Presentation and Passover is No Exception

I continually tell audiences that life is a presentation and that everybody is a public speaker. Here's an example of how speaking skills can impact your personal life. What to do when your wife complains your Seder is boring and your story of the Jews' freedom from bondage is as long as Cecil B deMille's movie "The Ten Commandments?" You get a coach and she doesn't even have to be Jewish.

Tired of his wife's criticisms every Passover, a man I'll call Burt, hired me to help him with his Seder presentation. Being Christian I had to do a quick study of the Haggadah,(the guide for conducting a Seder containing prayers and songs). With not a moment to waste, we got down to work.

We began paring down his story and I showed him how to tell it in an animated voice. He needed to shift from being a lecturer to an emcee. Then we created index cards with one sentence descriptions of each Seder food to be read by guests. Each of the ten plagues were also written on cards for the children to recite, followed by the refrain of a group song that each of the ten tables would sing.

The key to a successful presentation is to engage the audience. Group participation raises the energy level and keeps peple interested and engaged.

The Seder will be held on March 30th at a New York City restaurant. The Indian chef has learned to cook Jewish food with a unique blend of Indian spices. I look forward to attending the Seder and hearing the new and improved presentation.

DiResta Communications, Inc. Communicating With Impact!

Finding the Funny Fast

Did you hear the one about the elephant who walks into a psychiatrist's office?... If you've ever been challenged finding your funny bone, you need to read Jan McInnis' book, Finding the Funny Fast.Humor is so important in a presentation. Laughter bonds you to the audience, breaks the ice, releases tension,and makes people feel good! And according to Jan, you'll get more favors if you make people laugh.

But if you're a recovering serious person like me, you may wonder if you're capable of being funny. Jan McInnis believes anyone can be funny once you know the formula. Finding the Funny is a quick read chock full of simple ideas for crafting jokes. The secret formula for finding humor is to ask questions. She observes her environment and notices what's missing or what stands out. She then asks herself, "What if it wasn't there?" "What's good about it?" She then creates lists of fun lines that answer the questions.

In a nutshell,writing jokes is about saying out loud what the audience is thinking and making connections between the environment and their experience. She uses analogies, stereotypes, and common assumptions to "get to the funny fast." Jan can write 15 jokes in two hours and believes creating humor doesn't have to be laborious.

The most memorable speakers and ads are the ones that are funny. This book is a great investment. I can't wait to try her techniques in my next speech.

www.theworklady.com

DiResta Communications, Inc. Communicating With Impact!

Give a Knockout Acceptance Speech

When you're an award winner or an honoree you might be expected to give an acceptance speech. Most speakers ramble or speak too long. Take a lesson from Sandra Bullock's Academy award acceptance speech for The Blind Side and notice the elements that make it effective. Start with a humorous opening line. "Did I really earn this or did I wear you out?"

Acknowledge the competition. Sandra spoke to each of the nominees by name and said what she appreciated about them.

Thank the people who gave you the award and helped you to achieve your goals. Sandra thanked the family who provided the story, the people who made the film, and people who showed her support.

Make it personal. She talked about what the film was about for her and thanked all the mothers who take care of children. She skillfully transitioned into thanking her mother and her husband.

End with a thank you and exit the platform. Commit to ending on time.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNBkx6henLg]

DiResta Communications, Inc. Communicating With Impact!

Make Your Training Fun and Memorable

Are you still stuck in lecture mode? Don’t get me wrong. We all have to convey information. But after seven minutes or so, the brain starts to drift. Lecturing, along with reading, are the most passive and least effective forms of learning.

Make learning active! By involving your audience and getting them moving they'll understand and retain the information better and longer.

If your audience is falling asleep, side-talking, or can’t remember what you just said it’s time to turbo-charge your training seminars.

Here are some alternatives to lecturing and tips to accelerate learning:

Understand how people learn. Learning styles may be either visual, auditory, kinesthetic, or cognitive. People may be global, needing the big picture, or linear, needing a logical, detailed approach. Make your learning active and varied and you will capture all the styles.

Tell stories. Create a skit or story to explain a concept. Try setting it in a fairy tale or in King Arthur’s Court and substitute your business concepts. Once upon a time there was a knight who wanted to get to King Arthur’s castle. So he asked the wizard of communication “What is the secret of leadership?

Take Your Meetings to a New Level with Facilitation Techniques

Do your meetings fall flat? Do you have difficulty getting a discussion going? Do discussions go off track? Leading a meeting requires more than good presentation skills. When the purpose is to get information and opinions from others it's imperative to have good facilitation skills. There is a process to asking good questions and eliciting participation from everybody.Learn four facilitation techniques from this brief video.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwZ0JieO9MQ]

DiResta Communications, Inc. Communicating With Impact!

Jobs, Obama Say, “Welcome To My World!

Ruth Sherman recently wrote an article for Fast Company comparing the presentation styles of Steve Jobs launching the iPad and Barack Obama giving the state of the union address. Their styles are different but they each have their own strengths. Read what Ruth had to say in this interesting article. http://www.fastcompany.com/blog/ruth-sherman/lip-service/jobs-obama-say-welcome-my-world?1264802296

DiResta Communications, Inc. Communicating With Impact!

Press Release: Women in Power: Are You Living On Purpose?

Westport, CT (1/21/2010): Diane DiResta, top speaking strategist and founder and CEO of DiResta Communications, a communication skills consulting company, was invited to be one of four panelists, all successful women entrepreneurs, at the Women in Power networking event on Wednesday at the Westport Woman's Club. DiResta and fellow panel members discussed how to increase passion in the areas that matter most to business - Business Planning, Communications Impact, Financial Strategies, and Networking that works. The theme was "Living on Purpose: The Foundations for Successful Business Building in Today's Market." Halfway through the program, DiResta directed the 200 women in the audience to spend three minutes networking with each other. Soon the hall was abuzz with purposeful conversations and exchanges of business cards. The exercise was so successful that WIP member-moderator Lisa Wexler, an attorney-turned radio personality, was challenged to end it. "Women are excellent networkers," DiResta remarked.

Lisa Wexler, Women In Power member, moderated the session. Other panelists were: Kathy Caprino, Founder and President of Ellia Communications, Anne Evans, District Director, US Department of Commerce, and Kathy McShane, Founder and CEO of The Kendrew Group.

As CEO of DiResta Communications, Inc., Diane DiResta has trained spokespersons in sports and entertainment such as NBA players and Vanna White, as well as physician spokespersons representing pharmaceutical companies who want to communicate with maximum impact — whether face-to-face, in front of a crowd, or from an electronic platform. In addition to her corporate clients, DiResta developed a Confidence Class for seventh grade girls in Staten Island for two years. “I can’t think of a better investment than to invest in communication and we need to start early,