Can you change your delivery and still be real?
A client of mine was a respected leader. Only one thing was standing in the way. The issue was when she presented at meetings she was soft spoken. This was especially evident during teleconferences and her manager wanted her to receive coaching to project her voice.
When I asked the client how she felt about being coached she retorted, “They want me to change my voice.” There it was. The dilemma of wanting to be effective without losing her authenticity…She resisted changing her voice. After all, how could she be authentic if she wasn’t a loud person?
An executive in transition hired me to work on his interviewing skills. His messaging was good but his delivery was flat. His low affect didn’t sell him in interviews. He had to increase his energy without seeming forced. We developed the metaphor of flipping a switch. It became a trigger phrase to begin with higher energy at the beginning of the interview. He was still himself, just more enthusiastic.
We all have a range of skills. Why do we limit ourselves to a narrow bandwidth?
We speak differently to children than we do to our partners. We speak differently to our colleagues than we do to the boss. Yet, we’re still being authentic.
The best speakers know that they have to change with the audience. If you were speaking to a sales group, you wouldn’t deliver a laundry list of data and statistics. They’d boo you off the stage. They want energy, motivation, ideas, and practical tips.
Try giving a rah, rah speech to scientists and you’ll lose instant credibility. Here’s the truth: You don’t lose authenticity when you adapt communication to the audience. It’s a matter of degree.
You must use more energy with extroverted groups. But if you’re an introvert and you start jumping and hollering, you’ve just lost yourself.
So what does it take to be authentic?
Be open. Show your emotions and don’t over rehearse. Many public speakers orchestrate their gestures; however when you speak naturally, the gesture happens first and the words follow.
Often, the belief is that to be professional, you must be serious. The opposite is true. The best presenters are natural and smile. When clients sound or look stiff, I ask them to imagine we’re having a conversation at a coffee shop. This visualization helps them to be themselves. Don’t overthink it.
Connect. Don’t wait until the end of your presentation to make a connection. So many public speakers begin their presentation with opening remarks such as, “I’m honored to be here. Thank you for that introduction.” This registers as background noise to the audience. Instead of rehearsed remarks, start with a compelling opening line. Get right into it. That’s more authentic than rehearsed remarks. Be authentic by making an eye connection with an individual. Listen to the audience and adapt to their energy instead of being a talking head.
Tell your story. One speaker who spoke on leadership, began by telling the audience who he was. He told a story of being a foster child and shared some of the abuses he experienced. Then he launched into leadership principles. The audience related to him until the very end.
Speak from Passion. When presenters know their “why” for the presentation and can identify the emotion behind the message, they’ll find their authenticity. The presentation takes on a life of its own because the speaker isn’t thinking of the next word from a memorized script.The passion leads the speaker to connect from the heart. And that’s what makes it real.