The Power of Hand-to-Hand Contact

What is the equal opportunity communication that favors no gender? In every presentation skills seminar and in each initial executive speech coaching session, I spend time demonstrating the business handshake. Why discuss something so basic that we do every day? Because business can be lost due to an ineffective handshake. Just like two dogs sniffing each other, a handshake is the first point of contact. And many people don't realize the handshake is a presentation. To learn how to shake hands  and use gestures for  maximum impact, watch this TEDx video by Allan Pease.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZZ7k8cMA-4

Don't Dictate - Facilitate: 10 Tips for Effective Facilitation

  With 11 million meetings daily (3 billion yearly), it's not surprising that people feel they attend too many meetings. And most of them are unproductive. That equates to 31 hours of lost productivity per month or four days. The starting point for improving meeting effectiveness begins with the facilitator.

Here are 10 facilitation tips to make you a better facilitator:

Clear Purpose. Facilitation begins before the meeting. Determine the reason for the meeting. Is it to solve a problem, develop innovative ideas, select a theme for an event? Begin with the end in mind. Without a clear purpose, your meeting will go nowhere.

Start on Time. Don't wait for latecomers. You'll set a negative precedent and you'll end late. To get people be on time, try starting the meeting at an odd time like 8:57 a.m. People will notice the odd time and know you mean business.

Encourage Creative Thinking. The facilitator needs to create a safe space to share ideas. Don't evaluate or reject contributions. Allow for off-the-wall thinking without judgment. The best solutions are not always the tried and true.

Clarify, Paraphrase and Probe. These powerful listening skills are essential tools for any facilitator. Clarify by saying, "Tell me more." "Can you be specific?" We may think we're talking about the same thing when we say the word, CAR. But you're seeing a Volvo and someone else is seeing a Bentley. Paraphrase before responding. This is a listening check as well as an acknowledgement that the person was heard. Finally, probing is a skill that allows the facilitator to dig deeper and get to the underlying issue.

Summarize Main Points. Too many meetings and presentations end without a conclusion.  Effective facilitators provide internal summaries before moving on to the next agenda item and at the end of the meeting. Internal summaries can be a check for resistance. Make sure the group understands and is aligned before moving on. The job of a facilitator is to connect the dots.

Use a Flipchart and Post it Notes. A flipchart or whiteboard is a facilitator's best resource. The flipchart allows you to capture information in the moment. It's also a way of controlling the group dynamic. When the discussion is disrupted, ask people to write questions on the post it notes and put them on the parking lot (flipchart). Later, the facilitator can answer them.

Remain Objective. Never drive your own agenda.The role of the facilitator is to access information from the group and to remain neutral.

Keep Moving in the Direction of the Problem.  Write the problem statement for all to see. When the problem is clear, you'll be able to direct the discussion in the right direction while still being impartial.This prevents the group from losing focus.

Control the Discussion. A facilitator is the orchestra leader and the participants are the musicians. Questions are the baton. Just like the conductor knows how to bring up the string section and lower the brass, a skilled facilitator uses questions to guide and direct the discussion.

Keep a List of Action Items. Without action items, things will fall through the cracks. A good facilitator will assign attendees a role, a responsibility, and a deadline. To ensure accountability, it's wise for the facilitator to follow up before the next meeting.

Good facilitation skills will increase meeting productivity, lead to more creative solutions, and are essential for managing group dynamics. The facilitator as leader must remember to check the ego at the door. When it comes to facilitation, it's not about you. It's about them!

What has worked for you as a facilitator? What are your biggest challenges?

Speak at Your Own Risk: When Public Speaking is a Lost Opportunity

Speaking is the new competitive advantage. At least that's what I told my audiences until last week. I was excited to attend a wellness conference during the weekend in New York City. The keynote speaker was a celebrity I admired. But what was more exciting were the topics. Most of the speakers were doctors, dentists, and health professionals. The presenters spoke for 20 minutes as in a TED talk format and the presentations continued non-stop throughout the day.

Some of the research was cutting edge and I was eager to learn from the presenters. My enthusiasm quickly turned to boredom after sitting through the first few presentations. Clearly, the presenters were subject matter experts with impressive credentials. But they quickly sacrificed their credibility when they stepped up to the platform. What a lost opportunity! Here are three mistakes that were consistent among the speakers.

1. Using the Microphone Ineffectively

Almost every speaker held the microphone at chest level or too far away from their mouth. When the audience can't hear, they tune out. It also makes the subject matter expert look like an amateur. A microphone should be held no further than four inches below the mouth. My recommendation to the event planner was to provide an attached microphone or require a rehearsal with the hand held mic.

2. Being Speaker-Centered

This is all too common in business. I've experienced it in every kind of speaking situation including sales presentations. There was one woman in particular who spent most of the time telling her story. Not only was it too long; it was all about me, myself, and I. Here's the 411 on the audience. They don't care about you! They're interested in what you and your information can do for them. Yes, tell your story. We want to know you on a personal level. But keep it brief and move on to provide value.

It's not difficult to be listener-centered. I've demonstrated in one minute or less how to take any subject and create a listener-centered opening that speaks to the listener's self interest. It's not about you. It's about them! Chapter 7 in Knockout Presentations reveals the process of Listener-Centered Communication. It's powerful.

3. Bad Timing

Both the presenter and the coordinator are culpable when time commitments are not kept. The reason speakers run out of time is a) they have too much material b) they didn't rehearse out loud. One speaker was telling an interesting story and realized she had two minutes left. She stopped in the middle of the story and quickly flipped through to the end of the PowerPoint slides. The presentation lost impact. And this was a subject I really wanted to hear. At this point, my friend leaned over and whispered, "Diane, this is a real opportunity for you." (Not a good sign).

Were there other mistakes? Yes. But these were the most common errors. Were there any good presenters? Yes. I can think of two, maybe three. The celebrity keynote was excellent. It was obvious that she had a lot of public speaking experience. What is the lesson here? Poor presentation skills do not motivate an audience to action. I didn't approach any of the speakers after hearing them present on stage.

There was a silver lining, though. I won the grand prize - a Vitamix blender! So all was not lost - except the opportunity for the presenters to build their brand and increase their business.

Press Release: Diane DiResta Invited to Share Powerful Communication Strategies to Reduce Anger and Conflict on Anger 911

For immediate release

DiResta Invited to Share Powerful Communication Strategies to Reduce Anger and Conflict

Diane DiResta, Founder of DiResta Communications, Inc, will be the guest on Anger 911 Radio to share "Powerful Communication Strategies to Reduce Anger and Conflict". Tune in on Wednesday, April 2^nd at 9:00 a.m. EST. Visit www.Anger911.net and click on the purple mic. Anger 911 is syndicated on ClearChannel iHeart Radio - 50 million listeners! Read more ...

Even Celebrities Screw Up Their Presentations

Most public speakers fear that they will bomb when delivering their presentations. That same performance anxiety affects actors and musicians - even seasoned celebrities. Murphy's Law applies to the best of us. It's inevitable that at some point, something will go wrong with your presentation performance. So how do you recover? A few nights ago in Toronto, Billy Joel forgot some lyrics. Watch how he recovers on stage:

Those of us who are not celebrities can learn a thing or two from those who are. We can't all be as direct in our response as Billy Joel was, but we can develop some recovery strategies. Here's a quick tip on how you can plan for that moment when Murphy's Law finds you making a mistake on the platform:

You don't have to be a perfect public speaker. Confidence is about how your recover from a public speaking faux pas. Plan your recovery strategy, implement it with grace, and carry on. Your audience will like you Just the Way You Are.

How have you recovered from a speaking blooper?

The Laughter of Leadership

We've heard about managing by walking around. We've heard about leading by storytelling. But can you laugh your way to leadership? It turns out that laughter is an important leadership and presentation skill. But when it comes to humor in the workplace men are more skilled than women.

Judith Baxter, professor of applied linguistics at Aston University in the U.K, studied how men and women use language. She observed men and women who were leading high level meetings. Baxter found women to be less at ease using humor. 80% failed when attempting to be humorous and sometimes derailed as a result. In contrast, Professor Baxter observed that 90% of men's humor got a laugh. This reminds me of the numerous times women have told me that their ideas aren't taken seriously. Yet, when a man presents the same idea minutes later, it's enthusiastically embraced.

Are men naturally funnier than women? Baxter didn't answer that question, postulating instead, that culture plays a role. We expect men to be funny but don't have the same expectation of women. Teasing and one-upmanship resulted in laughter from men, but it was risky for women to use the same tactics. When I speak to women leaders, it's been my experience that women don't take enough credit for their accomplishments and speak in more self deprecating terms. Motivational speaker Tony Robbins contrasted the male one-upmanship communication style with the female pattern, which he dubbed 'one-downmanship'.

In addition to cultural expectations, Baxter cited minority status as another reason for this difference in effective use of humor. She observed an 80/20 male-to-female ratio in the meetings she attended. Being in the minority made some women defensive and less relaxed. An interesting turn of events occurred in meetings with middle managers. When the meetings were more gender balanced or contained more women, the women got more laughs.

So could lack of female confidence once again be at the core of this gender difference in humor? Is this one of the reasons women get stuck in middle management? Is humor the missing key to leadership advancement? Speaking may be the new competitive advantage but humor may be the leadership edge.

What's been your experience? Should women leaders study stand-up comedy?

Speaking to Senior Management: Don't Make These Mistakes

Do you freeze up when you have to speak to senior management? Do you wonder how you can gain their attention and establish your credibility? Well, here's advice direct from the C-Suite. Jeff Hayzlett, author of Running the Gauntlet and producer of C-Suite, the best selling Bloomberg television show, was the keynote speaker at the New York chapter of National Speakers Association. As the former Chief Marketing Officer of Kodak, he knows what's important to C- level executives.

From my experience as an executive speech coach, I know first hand that clients freeze up when they present to senior management. Whether you're speaking to the C-suite or speaking to the board of directors, it's important to adjust the presentation to the needs and style of these kinds of audiences.

Hear what Jeff has to say about speaking to senior management in this brief video interview:

How to Make Your Audience Fall in Love With You

It's Valentine's Day and people are   sharing the love. But how do you make sure Cupid's arrow hits the hearts of your audience? How do some public speakers create a love fest while others fail to seduce the crowd? Here are some tips to grab audience attention and have them wanting more.

1.  Warm Up Just like the art of seduction, a good public speaker greets the audience before speaking, sets the stage, and makes them feel comfortable. Smile and be friendly. It's about creating rapport.
2. Start with a Hook. Too many presentations begin with "Today I want to talk to you about...That's an invitation to check email. Begin with a startling statistic, a quote, or a benefit to the listener. Ask yourself, "What are three benefits to this audience?" Identify the number one benefit to them and that's your hook.
3. Make It About Them-Most presenters are speaker-centered, not listener-centered. Appeal to the self interests of the audience and they'll listen.This involves pacing the group and speaking their language.There is an energy and rhythm to an audience.If they're quiet and reserved come to them slowly and quietly. If it's an energetic, expressive group, match their explosive energy.Give them real value and use examples to show you understand their world. People like people who are like them.
4. Find the Funny-People love to laugh. An audience will often give higher marks to funny speakers so build in humor. You fall in love because of how the person makes you feel. It's the same with public speaking. An audience wants to be entertained.
5. Engage-Nobody likes listening to a talking head. Imagine a date where a person talks at you and never asks about you..Adult audiences want to be participants. Engage the audience with questions, polls, exercises, discussions, and stories. Nothing connects better than a story. When you tell your story,the audience will connect to you.
6. Build Anticipation-To keep an audience with you, use the technique of salting.Introduce an idea but don't give them the answer.During a media interview, a guest told the TV host that there were three critical communication skills. He said, "You've used one of them." He then continued talking. The host interrupted and said, "What was it?"  Like a good tease, let the audience know you'll tell them by the end of the presentation.They'll be sitting on the edge of their seats. And that's how you keep them in the palm of your hand.

As an investor, what is the worst presentation that you have seen?

David Rose is my guest blogger. I thought as an angel investor, he has some valuable tips for entrepreneurs who want to successfully pitch to investors. By David S. Rose / January 19th, 2014

I’ve written on this topic previously, including David S. Rose’s answer to Startups: What is the worst startup pitch ever? While I’ve never laughed outright during a pitch, I’ve certainly had quite a few occasions where I had to work hard not to wince. The problems with bad pitches tend to fall into the following major categories:

1. The content is just bad, off-base or not thought-through
2. Slides or other visuals are poorly executed, amateurish, confusing and counter-productive
3. The presenter is not a naturally talented speaker, has never been taught how to present, and/or hasn’t practiced the presentation

Blowing only one of the three generally merits the presenter at least a respectful response and discussion (although if it’s a case of #1, then there obviously will not be an investment.) The problem comes when someone blows two, or even all three. That’s when it gets really wince-worthy and painful for the audience. As an example, take a look at this presentation, which is really pretty bad across the board:

As for embarrassing moments, the one that takes the cake was several years ago when an attractive woman CEO was pitching to a group I was in, and during the presentation she accidentally knocked off her own hairpiece. To her credit, she smoothly continued as if nothing had happened, and eventually got the investment! What was interesting was that (a) it was a small hairpiece, (b) it was at the back of her head, and (c) guys are notoriously unobservant, so because she handled it so professionally…the majority of men in the room were not aware of the mishap!

*original post can be found on Quora @ http://www.quora.com/David-S-Rose/answers *

David S. Rose, CEO, Gust January 19th, 2014

Click here to see more from David Rose.

8 Tips for Using Video Marketing In Your Business. Content Marketing Must Include Video.

I'm happy to have my friend, Ramon Ray, as a guest blogger. Enjoy his post about using video to market your business.

Posted on January 17, 2014 by Ramon Ray

Facebook has launched video advertising reports the Wall Street Journal. Big advertisers can place video advertisements in your news feed. Right now it’s about $2 million a day to reach all users. Guess what’s coming next? Video ads for everyone to purchase, very targeted and low cost. You already knew that video was important, now you have yet another excuse to realize how important it is. You can use video as a lead generation tool to bring traffic to your web site (or other online components). Here’s a few ways to use video in your business. Why should I know about video? Heck, I was one of the first persons to speak with President Obama in a Google Hangout  – doesn’t that make me an expert? (just teasing…)

1. You have a smart phone. Use it to capture short, video that’s interesting to you and your customers.
2. Have a smart phone that can capture good video.
3. Buy a dedicated video camera like the Kodak Zii8 and use a shotgun microphone to capture better sound.
4. Keep the videos short and to the point.
5. Have good audio and good lighting – it is VIDEO.
6. Upload to Youtube and create your own channel.

Click here to see more from Ramon Ray.

Public Speaking Success: What Seed Are You?

Jim Cathcart, motivational speaker and author of the Acorn Principle, spoke to the NYC chapter of National Speakers Association today. As a former president of the National Speakers Association and a Hall of Fame Speaker, Jim shared his time line and journey of success to the heights of professional speaking. His insights and advice for success applied to speakers and non-speakers alike. Holding up an acorn, he asked the audience "What seed are you?" Jim explained that the stem represents your legacy, the cap holds on to the seed to help it grow (your support system, coaches, mentors) and the seed is the potential that lives within you.

The keys to success according to Jim are:

• Know yourself
• Accept yourself
• Improve yourself

He advised speakers to "nurture your nature." In other words, be true to your style as a public speaker. He contrasted the over-the-top expressive motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar with the reserved, business content speaker, Brian Tracy. Both were wildly successful because they were authentically true to their natural speaking styles.

The psychologist and professional speaker, Tony Allesandra, author of The Platinum Rule, had difficulty starting out as a speaker. A coach diagnosed the problem and told him to stop trying to be Jim Cathcart. Jim is a Southern gentleman and Tony is an "in your face" guy from the streets of Brooklyn. When Tony accepted himself, he found his own voice and his career soared.

Jim encouraged the audience to discover themselves and how they operate. He challenged the group to make a commitment to take the first step and the rest will come. Whether you want to be a professional speaker or raise the bar on your presentation skills, decide what you want and be a fanatic about it. According to Jim, "Success is unreasonable. Ordinary is reasonable." If you study your topic for one hour a day, within five years you'll be an expert. We all have seeds of greatness waiting to be expressed.

So, what seed are you?

Don't Let What Happened to Michael Bay Happen To You

What's a public speaker's worst nightmare? It's what happened to Michael Bay. Going blank and not knowing what to do can cause any speaker to freeze with fear. I saw this happen during the December holidays at a networking party. The event took place in a large store with a winding staircase in the middle of the room. Each speaker climbed a few stairs and then talked to 50 women who were standing around. The third speaker ascended the stairs and began to talk about hair care. He started out fine. But a few minutes into it he said, "I'm sorry " and left the building. We didn't know what hit us.The audience didn't see that coming. But something happened inside to trigger a panic attack. Michael Bey was interrupted by the emcee, lost his place on the teleprompter and couldn't recover. He walked off. It was a painful moment for him, the emcee, the sponsor, and the viewers. What could he have done? What would you do?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlC-VIX9Gyg

The best preparation aside from rehearsing is to know your worst case scenario and plan a recovery strategy.

Have a Backup Script-If you ever speak from a teleprompter, have a back-up script.  Although not ideal, Michael could have taken the script and continued the presentation.

Play it Again Sam-If the technology goes down or the teleprompter malfunctions, call it out and ask them to restart. I once saw a Miss Universe pageant. The contestant began her presentation in English and then got flustered. Instead of dying on the platform, she announced that she was going to continue in French. The audience encouraged her with applause.

Stop and Breathe-Public speaking success is not guaranteed. If you experience brain freeze, take a moment to focus on your breath. This will help you come back and regain your composure. People walk off in a panic because they don't know what to do. Too many public speakers fear silence. So they exit the stage. You don't have to act immediately. Pause and breathe to come back into your body.

Fire an Anchor-This takes preparation. Create a physical anchor, or word that will trigger you back into confidence. Fire it and expect to experience a state of excellence where you have that "can do" attitude. You can give fear the finger.

Let Go and Go with the Flow-When disaster strikes, take a lesson from martial arts. Don't fight against the energy. Use it. Disarm your opponent. In this case, the opponent is fear.

The best public speakers are prepared and then let go. Nobody is better at this than Bill Clinton. During one of his presidential speeches he realized that somebody put the wrong speech in the teleprompter. He was able to wing it until Hillary could notify the person responsible. .If you're wedded to every word you will have a difficult time as a public speaker.

When Michael's speech was out of sync with the teleprompter, the emcee asked him a question about the slides.That was the opportunity to let go of the script and to have a conversation.The presentation could have morphed into an interview and Mr. Bay could have remained on stage.

The Lesson? In the arena of public speaking, it's not always what you say, it's how you recover. If at all possible, avoid using a teleprompter. Be prepared and know this too,will pass.

What was your worst public speaking moment? What did you do?

10 Presentation Trends for 2014

In 2014 presentation skills will reign supreme. Leaders and entrepreneurs will need to be more visible across different media platforms. Speaking is the new competitive advantage and the bar has been raised. Here are the trends in presentations that I predict for 2014.

1. Broadcasting skills - Whether you're an entrepreneur or employed by a company, expect to have your 15 minutes of fame.Today's presenters need broadcasting skills. Media training will become a vital success skill even for those who do not speak to the press. I'm currently coaching a client to lead quarterly webcasts. Five years ago this senior executive wasn't doing any broadcasting. This client has since been filmed for executive promotional videos. Video presentations will increase in popularity. I use eyejot.com to send quick video emails. Videos can be very effective or very detrimental if you have weak presentation skills.
2. Mobile presentations - Mobil technology is exploding and the number of apps is growing. This will require adjustments in the way we communicate. Slide shows and websites must be adjusted for mobile devices.The key word in presentations is portability. On a personal note, I now videotape my coaching clients on the ipad. The quality is as good as a video camera and it's easier to transport.
3. Increased Need for Speaker Training - The need for excellent presentation skills will increase.due to the competitive nature of the market. Products and services can quickly become commodities and in order to be persuasive, presenters will need to know how to capture and hold the ear of the listeners.
4. Self marketing presentations - Personal branding will become even more important. In a crowded market place where good jobs are at a premium. Job candidates will have to master marketing and selling. That means understanding what makes them unique and how to position themselves, their message, and their value with clarity and impact. Lack of confidence will be the deal breaker. Speakmarketing will be a growing factor for small business success. Presently, I'm coaching  small businesses to develop webinars to grow their businesses.
5. Storytelling - Telling stories will no longer be the domain for the talented few. Leaders will be challenged to learn the art of storytelling to develop trust, express their vision and to lead their teams. And storytelling skills will be the differentiater in the job interview.Certain companies such as Pepsico, have a culture of storytelling. The best interviewers will invest in public speaking coaching to learn to tell their story instead of presenting their resume.
6. Authenticity - Audiences are more sophisticated and less tolerant than ever. They want to know who the speaker is as a person.Do they walk their talk? Audiences will value  presenters who are real versus a just-the-facts approach. I was asked to coach somebody who had a well-crafted PowerPoint deck but delivered it like a talking head. Listeners are thinking "Who are you?"
7. Increased Audience Interaction - The key word is connection. In a society where there is less time for socializing and more stress, people want to have an experience and participate with the speaker. Watch for increased live polling, tweeting, live streaming,and audience participation. Technology will level the playing field as speakers can now use inexpensive polling software on their mobile devices.There will also be an increase in virtual presentations. I'm coaching more clients remotely due to technology tools.
8. Less Fluff More Value - Motivational speakers will always be popular as long as the human soul craves uplifting messages. But today's presenters need more than a string of 'feel good" stories. They must be able to provide value, tips, strategies, action steps, a different way of thinking along with those stories. Audiences are more demanding.
9. Shorter Keynote Speeches - The 18 minute TED-like talk will become more commonplace. This is already happening at conferences. Instead of the one to three hour breakout sessions, event planners and audiences are opting for a series of shorter talks.
10. Continuity - The old transactional model of giving a one hour presentation and then return to business as usual,  will give way to the idea of continuity.The message will continue after the event or meeting with additional contact and add-on resources. Despite the fact that younger audiences are leaving facebook, social media will continue to be an important communication channel for staying connected. However, people will consider the return on their time and become more focused and narrow in their social media communication.

All of these trends can be summarized in one idea: Public speaking is more important than ever. The need for excellent presentation skills is not going away. It will only increase in 2014 and beyond. Just as with technology upgrades,presenters will upgrade their public speaking skills or risk becoming obsolete.