You have a message you want to deliver. But you don’t. Many of my clients hold themselves back or self-censor not because they don’t have an opinion, but they’re not confident. They want to fit in.
Self-censoring is defined by Wikipedia as “the act of censoring or classifying one's own discourse”.
Why do presenters self-censor?
One reason is limiting beliefs. If a person believes they’re not as important or knowledgeable as everybody else they may not contribute at all. This is a confidence problem. Some beliefs may stem from childhood conditioning. If you were told that “Children should be seen and not heard”, you may be reluctant to speak up. Examine your beliefs. Write then down and then rewrite them into a positive empowering statement. If you’re the most junior person in the room, tell yourself, “I offer a perspective that they don’t have.”
Another reason may be overthinking. If you’re analytical you may rehearse your answer in your head weighing whether it’s the right idea or wording. Before you know it, somebody has offered the idea you were going to contribute. Agree to let go of perfection. Prepare what you’ll say in advance and commit to speaking your mind.
Fear of ostracization can be a reason to self-censor for many presenters. We get admonished for not being politically correct or for our “micro aggressions”. What’s a speaker to do? Being admonished for your opinions is a reality but that doesn’t mean you have to allow others to shut you down. Be aware of the group’s attitudes and values and adjust accordingly. If the issue is important to you, find a way to voice your concerns in a manner that people can hear it . One way to do that is to ask questions. By asking questions instead of making declarations, you’ll be able to bring up an issue without censoring yourself and the topic.
While we all need a filter to behave respectfully, self-censoring can have a number of negative consequences. These are a few:
an erosion of freedom
increased stress from a lack of self-expression
superficial relationships because people don’t know the real you
a feeling of isolation because you don’t feel heard
resentment and anger because you have to watch every word you say.
And you’ll be a mediocre public speaker because you won’t challenge the audience and bring up new ideas.
Stop Self-Censoring!
It’s bad for your health and your career. To start the journey of self-expression, take small steps. Create conditions that are safe so that people can express themselves. Practice what you’ll say out loud and take a risk. You’ll be a better public speaker and communicator when you stop self-censoring.
To learn how to Speak Confidently and Effectively check out my LinkedIn learning course. It ranked on the Top 20 Most Popular courses for 2 years.
To learn techniques to overcome fear of speaking, read chapter 3 of Knockout Presentations.
To work with me contact DiResta Communications, Inc.