We attended the wake of my husband's friend. They had worked together at the back office of the NY Stock Exchange and were golf buddies. He passed away at age 78. He had been in the hospital so his passing was not a surprise. But it was still hard to believe he was gone.
When we entered the funeral parlor we met the adult son. After expressing condolences, my husband started to tell stories about his friend to the son.
The stories were comforting and enlightening. My husband confirmed that the deceased was a loyal friend and a good person. But the work stories about his skills and reputation were something new to his son. The son said, "I didn't know my father was technical." His face was filled with pride when he learned that his father was instrumental in keeping the trading systems running during 911. He enjoyed the stories of the personalities of the management who became dependent on his father during crises. Being in the same industry he could relate to the situations and he and my husband shared some good laughs.
Lessons learned: When communicating during a wake, step one is to offer condolences. Keep it brief and sincere. Share something positive about the deceased. If you knew the person, share stories to offer another dimension. It may be comforting for the family member to learn something new about their loved one.
End by letting them know what the person meant to you.
Let your conversation be a tribute to the deceased and bring light to the bereaved.
What stories have you shared at a wake that brought comfort to others? Share your experiences in the comments below. Let's learn from each other how to bring light in times of sorrow.
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