Can You Have Executive Presence and Pink Hair?

I was working with a client on her presentation and executive presence. She was not your traditional looking leader. During the coaching session she asked me a question I wasn’t expecting. She inquired, “Can I have executive presence and pink hair?”  How times have changed! Ten years ago we wouldn’t be asking about pink hair. In New York City I was accustomed to all kinds of artistic non-conformist looks. But not at work-unless it was the fashion or entertainment industry.

 The workplace was different. Norms were different. Standards were set by corporations and dress codes were part of the policies and procedures manuals.

That’s not to say that rules weren’t challenged. It started with the IT departments where the uniform became jeans. Companies started to relax dress codes in the mid 1990s and business suits morphed into “business casual.” The challenge was that nobody knew what that meant. As a communications strategist and presentation coach, I trained employees to create a powerful presence. Frustrated managers would ask me to explain how to dress for the office as employees became more lax wearing mesh shirts and flip flops to work. A law firm asked me to tell one female employee not to wear sleeveless dresses. In 2007, one company I consulted for actually created a pictorial brochure of what was acceptable workplace attire.

Fast forward to today where individualism and diversity rule. Culture is expressed with clothing and hairstyles. The largest demographic are millennial workers who value freedom of expression, and lifestyle over conformity. 

 In my past life training people to be powerful presenters, I always discussed physical appearance and the power of the visual impression. Today, not so much. Amazon invited me to speak to their women leaders at a luncheon for high achievers. I was warned by my contact not to mention dress standards. Women at the company were free to wear hoodies and dress casually,

As Clubhouse moderator and former attorney Scott Mason noted, there can be major legal implications  with overly restrictive policies around personal presentation. The question becomes where  is the line between professionalism and individual expression? Can you be “quirky” and credible?

Can You Have Executive Presence and Pink Hair?

This question was put to the test in the Clubhouse room, Confidence, Clarity and Charisma moderated by Diane DiResta and S. Scott Mason.  The audience consisted of men and women from the military, the private sector and entrepreneurs who were both quirky and classic. A linkedin poll answered the question with three choices: 

• Yes

• No

• Depends on the Industry

 Surprisingly, 54% voted YES. Professional speaker, Lisa Braithwaite is challenging the status quo with the hashtag  #This is What Professional Looks Like. She has shaved pink hair, big earrings, bright colors, large red-framed eyeglasses  and no make-up. One man in the military was open to individual expression but said he didn’t want to see pink hair in the military because that would be a target. All agreed that wearing a uniform for the military and police had a purpose to communicate authority. 

Whether you can establish leadership with pink hair depends on how you define Executive Presence. Most of the respondents believed that it’s how you command the room and conduct yourself that determines executive presence. It requires confidence. But is there a double standard for men and women? Do women have to look more conservative or “establishment” in order to convey executive presence? Case in point: There was an experiment where  two identical resumes were distributed.  One had a female name and another had a male name. When reviewing the resumes the consensus was that the resume of the male applicant was more positively received. They perceived the male job candidate to be more competent. Yet, it was the same resume! Considering the occurrence of unconscious bias in the workplace, should women have pink hair at higher leadership levels? Will it undermine confidence in their leadership in more conservative industries? We can create policies that extol diversity but we can’t legislate feelings and perception. While the Clubhouse participants believed pink hair is acceptable, the jury is still out. Does appearance affect trust? After all, Mark Zuckerberg wears a hoodie as the CEO but he wore a suit to testify before the Senate.

How to Deliver Bad News-Lessons from Marriott's CEO

It was a message that no CEO or business owner wants to deliver. Arne Sorenson, CEO of Marriott International, had to inform his employees of the impact that Corona virus would have on them and the company. He started out on the right foot with the title of the talk. It simply said, A Message from Arne. Not a Town Hall, not a Message from the CEO, but a message from Arne. He established a personal connection before he spoke his first word with his informal title.

Striking a serous tone, he began with a direct statement. “I”m here to give you an update on the effects of Covid-19 on our business and the steps we are taking to respond to it. Direct and to the point is the best way to deliver bad news. People are feeling anxious and want to know the topic and agenda of the talk. He also said “This is the most difficult video message we have ever pulled together.” The CEO established his humanity and authenticity with this statement. In other words, this would not be corporate speak.

Mr. Sorenson then injected some mild, appropriate humor to relax the audience. “Our team was a bit concerned about using video because of my new bald look. Let me say my bald look is exactly what we expected because of my medical treatments.” He acknowledged his changed appearance to assure people he was all right. Again, this humanized him as a leader and speaker and the personal reference created a connection with the audience. And he assured them that he was healthy and able to lead. He let it be known that he was focused on the Covid-19 crisis.

After establishing the purpose and establishing rapport, he delivered an excellent transition- “Now let’s talk about that crisis.” As a public speaker he got right to the point. He talked about how he felt, Next, he acknowledged the elephant in the room-his baldness and let people know he was ready to lead them through the crisis. Only then would the audience be ready to hear his strategy. He stayed away from abstractions and made the impact of the virus concrete. Effective leaders and public speakers create a picture for the audience and he did so with the next statement. “Covid 19 has had greater financial impact than 911 and the economic crisis combined.” He followed up with numbers. We’ve seen a 90% decrease in our business in China.”

He moved on to list the strategies and cost containment approaches that would occur, as well as the salary cuts he and his executive team would be taking. This decision demonstrated his leadership once again. He was not above the fray and would personally experience a temporary financial loss along with his employees.

Mr. Sorenson mentioned the positive signs of China’s recovery and once again relayed how it felt to give this news to valued employees. He talked about his eight years as CEO and the highs and lows of his tenure. There was a slight quiver in his voice as he was feeling the pain of this message. Mr. Sorenson assured his employees that “Together we can and we will overcome this and we’ll thrive once again.” And while he didn’t minimize the crisis, he ended with a message of hope and confidence. His entire speech was five minutes and 48 seconds. It was long enough to present the full picture and short enough to maintain attention. It was an exercise in executive presence. And that’s how to deliver bad news.

Speaking Lessons from Shark Tank

Last month I had the good fortune to hear Kevin O’Leary of Shark Tank speak at a networking event. Unlike typical celebrity events, this venue was intimate, allowing contact with Mr O’Leary and even a photo opp. After drinks and hors d’oeuvres, we gathered into a small theater-like room to hear him speak. His speaking approach surprised me and I found it refreshing. Instead of the usual PowerPoint, or main stage podium presentation, Mr O’Leary entered the room in an unassuming manner yet strongly communicated executive presence. After being introduced, he stood next to a leather chair, his only prop a wine glass in hand as he told his story.

He began by telling us about his mother’s influence on how he thinks about his investments today and took us on a journey from his early, hungry years, the “tough love” lessons from his mother, and how he is raising his children based on his own upbringing. He discussed the issue of how to stay grounded after acquiring riches, his decisions and relationships on Shark Tank, his current enterprises, and advice for today’s entrepreneurs. His decisions to do business with partners isn’t contingent on liking them and he was clear about separating personal feelings from business.

Politics was not part of the presentation until the last questioner asked for his opinion on the Presidential election which he answered directly. Ever the salesman, he ended with a call to action. He let the audience know that he owned a vineyard and we could buy his $60 red wine for $10 on QVC.

Mr. O’Leary didn’t miss a beat. He spoke fluently, conversationally, and matter-of-factly, as he wove sage advice through his stories. This was not a speech but a conversation. And the audience loved it!  It was interesting how much of the presentation I retained because he made the message memorable.

What I learned was this: The best public speakers stay true to themselves. Kevin O’Leary has a quiet style but was no less captivating than a Tony Robbins. He told his personal story and made a connection with the audience. By sharing business successes and an inside view of SharkTank, he provided real value to an audience of entrepreneurs. He didn’t waffle when asked a political question. He put a stake in the ground. And of course, he told us how to get a discount on his wine. The audience was captivated. And that’s why he’s called Mr.Wonderful.

What's Your Presentation Worth?

It doesn't matter whether it's a raise, a promotion, or a large capital expenditure. Public speaking pays. Are you losing money every time you speak? Do you know why? You can be dressed to the nines, but a Brooks Brothers suit won't help if your presentation doesn't match your million dollar look. I remember the first time I met Cathy (not her real name). Her manager, a Vice-President, called me in to coach her. Cathy was having difficulty getting promoted.

When I met Cathy, I was surprised. She could have been on the cover of Forbes magazine. Cathy exuded executive presence visually. The challenge was when she presented her ideas to senior management, she immediately lost credibility. By not presenting a strong recommendation, and using uptalk and wimpy words, Cathy's value was diminished. As a result of my coaching, she learned to speak powerfully and was promoted to VP. Now that's a return on investment.

Another client of mine was a CEO of a multi national healthcare company. His challenge was to convince management to invest in a  $300 million facility in Europe. It would take 5 years from beginning construction to licensed facility. Clinical trials for a vaccine were 3 years away. This was an investment with high risk. He didn't even know if the vaccine would work. The CEO's presentation had to be clear, understandable, and effective in persuading management that the risk was worth it. The CEO got the funding. The facility was built. The product sold over $1 billion per year.

He said, “Without that presentation and convincing the executive committee to invest, we wouldn’t have the product.” That's MAJOR ROI!

Speaking leads to influence and influence leads to success. It's about how you articulate your value. How much money is left on the table due to a weak presentation?  A family member worked for a doctor's office handling insurance claims. She wanted a raise but wasn't having success. She realized the claims were being denied because they contained the wrong codes.

So she diligently nudged the doctors to apply the correct codes and helped them to do just that. The result was that fewer claims were being rejected. I howled, "You mean to tell me they are collecting on more claims because of you? You're directly impacting their bottom line! You're increasing their cash flow! Tell them that." She did, and she got her raise. Again, there is an ROI from effective presentations.

It doesn't matter whether you seek a raise, a promotion, or approval on a large capital expenditure: public speaking pays. The payoffs for you, the speaker, are increasing sales, earning a raise, getting a promotion, receiving investor capital, and more. And when you have excellent presentation skills you may even be paid to speak. Ka Ching Ka Ching.

Are you in the middle of a merger? Are you launching a new product? Do you have to give a presentation to your sales force?  You won't have a second chance. When your presentation is make or break, contact DiResta Communications, Inc.

Success Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry

Love Story was a popular move in 1970. It starred Ryan O'Neill and Ali McGraw. In one scene they have a fight and go their separate ways. O'Neill finds McGraw after he cools off and apologizes for the fight. She stops him and says through her tears, "Love means never having to say you're sorry." I don't know if most people in conflict would agree with that. What people may agree with is the overuse of the word "Sorry" in the workplace. This is especially prevalent among women. When I speak to organizations about executive presence and confidence, I advise women to avoid weak speak or what I call wimpy words. Certain modifiers such as "only," or "just" weaken conviction. That is, the speaker negates everything that follows the words "only" or "just". For example, "This is just an idea," is less powerful than saying "This is an idea."

Related to these two modifiers is the word "sorry". To use the word "sorry" in emails and spoken language is to the detriment of women. An apologetic communication style sabotages leadership and authority. Leaders are perceived as decisive and willing to take a risk. Saying "sorry' too frequently is a way to avoid taking a stand and not be taken seriously.

The word "sorry" is also used as a substitute for "excuse me". Instead of asking the speaker to clarify or repeat, some women will say "Sorry?" rather than use the more effective phrase, "Excuse me?".

There's an app for that

How can women rid this undermining word from their vocabulary? The first step is awareness. Technology to the rescue! Now there is an app that identifies wimpy words when they are used in emails.

The Just Not Sorry extension for Chrome is downloadable at the Chrome app store. The app identifies wimpy words in Gmail by underlining them in red and providing explanations of how the word weakens the message in the email. Whether the reason for using wimpy words is a subconscious lack of confidence or simply a bad habit, this tool can create conscious awareness for women so that they can become more successful leaders and communicators.

After all, success means never having to say you're sorry.

The Essence of Executive Presence

Executive Presence is difficult to describe, but you know when you have it. And so it goes in the workplace. Clients call me to work on a leader’s “executive presence.” They’ll say the leader needs “polishing” or “gravitas,” but they can’t be specific.

What is clear is that the coaching candidate is stuck at a level. Without the ability to convey executive presence, they lose credibility and don’t advance further.

The myth is that executive presence is about dressing well. Attire is a visual shorthand. At first glance, your audience or stakeholders will determine if you’re a leader by the way you’re dressed. That’s part of it, but it’s only one piece of the puzzle. Have you ever known someone who looks like a million dollars until they opened their mouth?

Take the case of Deborah (not her real name). When I first met her, she looked like Ms. Dress for Success; however, when she presented at meetings she lost credibility with senior management. Deborah hedged, sounded hesitant and wouldn’t put a stake in the ground. Her boss couldn’t promote her to Vice-President and asked me to coach her.

What does this have to do with speaking? The answer is Confidence.

The presenter’s job is to inspire the audience's confidence that he/she is an expert (or at least qualified to speak on the subject). A speaker must have presence on the platform. Deborah discovered that leaders align visual, vocal, and verbal communication to influence. If one of these areas goes out of sync, the message is altered. Deborah learned to convey executive presence and was promoted to Vice-President.

So what exactly is executive presence? It's the missing link between merit and success. The chart above breaks down the aspects of “gravitas” so you’ll no longer say “I’ll know it when I see it.” You’ll be able to recognize and convey executive presence by knowing the components. Whether your platform is a stage or a meeting room, the boardroom or the back room, you’ll be able to assess yourself and project confidence.

Executive Presence: Fall Makeovers and Tips for Women

I co-hosted my first event with 85 Broads, and it was a smashing success. The topic, Get Your Executive Presence On, received rave reviews. The event was sponsored by CHANEL and Saks Fifth Avenue, and held at CHANEL's education center on East 57th St in New York City.

The evening began with networking and fall makeovers. Each woman received a makeup application and instruction. When everybody looked beautiful, we gathered to hear my presentation about 8 keys to Executive Presence for women. The audience learned ways that women can be heard, look like leaders, and own the room.

CHANEL provided a special ambiance, with lighting, wine and delicious hors d'oeuvres. They provided a skincare station and a fragrance and chocolate pairing station. The networking continued as CHANEL was cleaning up - people didn't want to leave.

Here's what some attendees had to say:

I didn't think I would learn anything new, but I did. Diane is incredible. The things she shared with people are life-changing." -Judy

This, for me, is one of the best events I've attended." -Sophie

Diane gave examples and insights that had the whole audience captivated." -Alison

I've been to so many seminars and trainings on leadership and thought I'd heard everything about how to be an effective public speaker. But Diane's presentation gave me tips I never heard before." - Carrie

Press Release: Diane DiResta to Speak at 85 Broads Fall Networking Event in NYC, Sept 25, 2013

For immediate release

DiResta will Speak about Executive Presence and Presentation

Fall networking event - for subscribing Power Circle and Investor level members of:

New York, NY (September 23, 2013) – At this 85 Broads fall networking event (link for members), Power Circle member Diane DiResta, Founder of DiResta Communications and author of Knockout Presentations, will present her work on executive presence, and top make-up artists at the Chanel Salon will show you the new color trends for Fall.

DiResta works with emerging leaders and executives to develop executive presence and gravitas. DiResta says, “At a certain level, it’s not what you know, it’s your leadership and ability to influence. Executive presence is difficult to define; it involves good presentation skills, speaking with conviction, decisiveness, self-confidence and a polished image.”

Click here to read full Press Release.

What's Executive Presence Gotta Do With It?

What is executive presence? And why does it matter? You know it when you see it. But it's difficult to describe. At some point a career will be stalled because the person doesn't look, speak, or act like a leader. That's when a company will call me to work on the leader's executive presence. Executive presence is the tipping point for getting promoted. How do you get it?  Watch this video to learn more.

Press Release: Diane DiResta Gets Her Executive Presence On at Saks Fifth Avenue on 12-12-12

For Immediate Release

DiResta Teaches Women How to Amp Up Their Executive Presence

New York, NY (Dec 12, 2012) -- Diane DiResta, CEO of DiResta Communications and author of Knockout Presentations, co-hosted a holiday event for executive women sponsored by Saks Fifth Avenue. The title of the event was, Get Your Executive Presence On, and included a short presentation from DiResta, a preview of Tahari's elegant winter line, and free Chanel makeovers for the women in attendance.

DiResta works with emerging leaders and executives to develop executive presence and gravitas. DiResta says, "At a certain level, it's not what you know, it's your leadership and ability to influence. Executive presence is difficult to define; it involves good presentation skills, speaking with conviction, decisiveness, self-confidence and a polished image."

Read more...

Command More Clout: 5 Tips for Effective Communication

June is effective communication month. To increase your influence and executive presence, your message must  grab and keep attention. I make sure that all my coaching clients know the secrets of speaking with impact. Here are 5 quick tips to be a knockout communicator.

Are You Guilty By Omission?

When a speaker or presenter leaves out a sound or a syllable, they are guilty of omissions. Otherwise known as deletions, these speech mistakes can cause the speaker to sound uneducated or unprofessional. Often, these deletions are a type of regionalism and frequently, the presenter has no idea that they omit certain sounds. I was recently asked to coach someone because her regional speech patterns were impacting her executive presence and opportunities for advancement. We discovered that omissions were one of her issues. Listen to the video to see if you're guilty of using any of these deletions.

Do You Have Additions in Your Diction?

Diction is an important part of public speaking. Mispronounced words become a distraction and your message can get lost. Effective presenters are mindful of their pronunciation. Certain regionalisms become part of the vernacular, but that doesn't mean it's correct. Inappropriate diction or sloppy speech can rob you of executive presence and impact your professional success.

Listen carefully as you watch this video to see if you make this verbal faux pas:

Even Michelle Obama Mispronounces This Word

In 2004 I was quoted in the Wall Street Journal about sloppy speech habits in the workplace. It hit a nerve and the reporter, Joann Lublin, wrote a follow up piece. It seems that employers favor good diction in the workplace. In honor of May being Better Speech and Hearing month, I'm posting some one minute videos to address the issue of poor diction. Even well spoken, high profile communicators express the occasional verbal faux pas or mispronunciation. Some of these diction errors are regionalisms;even so, they can undermine the speaker's credibility, executive presence, and leadership.