What Seasoned Speakers Know That You Don't

National Speakers Association convention is where you'll find the top speakers in the world on the main stage. A number of years ago, I attended a convention. One of the keynote speakers gave an inspiring and tear jerking presentation. He spoke about how he and his wife couldn't have children so they adopted a couple of boys. They were brothers who were not well treated and were put up for adoption. He told the audience about how difficult it was to gain their trust and parent them. He recounted all the troubled times. In the end, the little boys flourished and his wife discovered she was pregnant. The speaker then brought the little boys on stage. To say there wasn't a dry eye in the house is an understatement. The tears were streaming down my face. My friend looked over and said, "Are you all right?" I told him "I can't take it." The entire audience was overwhelmed by emotion. This speaker was able to pierce each person's heart and trigger an emotional reaction. It takes skill to tell a story that has so much emotional impact. This is a good thing, isn't it? Well, maybe. But this speaker did the one thing you should never do from the platform...

On Sunday morning I watched Joel Osteen, the motivational speaker and pastor of Lakewood Church. He too, had an emotional story to tell. It was about a country singer.

At a young age this singer, had strayed from his values and started hanging around with the wrong crowd.  He got involved with alcohol and drugs. His name was on billboards everywhere and Joel's mother would notice the singer's name every time they passed the billboard on the road. Although, she had never met him, she would say a prayer for him. This ritual went on for more than a year. Then one day when the country singer was feeling down on his luck, he wandered into the church where Joel's father was the pastor. An usher recognized him and alerted Joel's mother. She immediately got up and embraced him. She told him about all the times she had prayed for him.

After telling this story, Joel pointed to the country singer who was sitting in the front row. As the camera zoomed in on him, you could see the singer wiping away his tears.   It was an emotional crescendo. The audience burst into applause.  And, at that moment, Joel said, "Aw, he's not that good." The audience broke into laughter.

Joel did something the first speaker forgot to do. The first speaker opened us up, raw with emotion, and left us there. It was like a surgeon opening a wound but forgetting to close it back up.   Joel used humor to break the tension. A seasoned speaker can take you on a roller coaster of emotions. You'll experience the exhilaration of the highs and lows. But they will always bring you back to solid ground. And one of the best ways to do this is through humor.

You may be a good storyteller who can open people to their emotions. But do you finish the job by closing them back up? As a speaker, you have the power of the spoken word. Remember you have the emotions of the audience in your hands. Use your power carefully.

Are You Seen But Not Heard?

Karen was newly appointed to her position in finance, where she was responsible for managing and keeping the department on budget. Soft-spoken and petite, Karen had a hard time making herself heard during meetings, as her aggressive team shouted over her and challenged her when she questioned their figures...

Are You Overshadowed in Meetings?

Renee was a young associate for a marketing research company; it was her first job. She was smart but soft-spoken. Renee's manager frequently interrupted and dominated meetings, and wouldn't allow Renee to lead a meeting in her absence...

You're Dressed for Success, But Is Your Presentation a Mess?

Carol was a bright, up and coming assistant vice president in a health care company. She was definitely dressed for success. Visually, she looked like an executive. The issue was when Carol presented to senior management...

Teen Confidence Crisis Averted with Confidence Class

From what I've read, there tends to be a decline in female confidence around the early teen-age years. This training gave them real world skills and a platform to present themselves powerfully. Public speaking is a skill that will benefit them for a life time.

Do Women Need to Speak More Powerfully Than Men?

In honor of Women's History Month, I thought I'd explore this issue of women speaking powerfully.  It's been established that men and women communicate differently.  The question is, do women need to speak more powerfully than men to be heard?  Whether it's a speech, pitching an idea, or a one-on-one meeting, it appears that women need to work harder to have their ideas heard. According to New York Women in Communications, women make up 3% of CEOs and occupy around 16% of board seats at the nation's Fortune 500 companies, and 15.2% of the directors at the largest companies are women.

A female professor at NYU received a request for a testimonial from a former student.  The letter was over the top.  So much so, she had to tone it down so it would sound realistic.  It was no surprise to her that this communication came from a male.  She realized that males tend to exaggerate their abilities, while women downplay their accomplishments and speak with less conviction.

I can corroborate this from my own experience coaching women leaders.  Women have a more difficult time taking a strong position, speaking with authority, and promoting their own ideas.  While coaching one executive woman, it was apparent that her area was the most profitable in the business, but her influence was a well-kept secret.  We immediately got to work increasing her visibility: getting her name in trade publications, networking internally and externally, and booking speaking engagements.

Public speaking levels the playing field for women.

Here are some ways women can speak more powerfully:

  • Lower their pitch.
  • Put a stake in the ground.
  • Use specific, definitive language.
  • Negotiate with confidence.
  • Work with a coach.

So I ask you, in your experience, do women need to speak more powerfully than men?  Can they best learn to speak powerfully from a male or a female role model?

The Shortest Distance Between Two People Is a Story

Once upon a time...

We all loved those words as children because we knew we were going to hear a story. Last night, I attended an excellent program - Harnessing the Power of Story to Lead Change.

The speaker, Judy Rosemarin, asked the audience "What is your 'humaway' story?" Just like we leave a theater and start humming the theme song, a message tends to stick in the minds of the listeners when we tell stories. The best public speakers are storytellers.

Some speakers are known for their signature stories.  The audience loves to hear the same story over and over because it resonates with them. Stories build trust, create emotional impact, and improve retention. Stories are not just for public speakers but stories serve as a leadership tool. They can help you deliver bad news and lessen the blow.

Judy recounted a situation where a company was going to downsize. The leader began his presentation by telling a story about pruning a tree. Branches needed to be trimmed in order for it to grow. When he finished his story, he transitioned to the pruning of the organization. While people were not happy about the loss in headcount, they understood the big picture.

In networking meetings, people deliver their elevator pitch. This is a statement or a snippet. A more powerful way to introduce your company is with a success story. Stories create a safe haven and create an intimacy. When two people meet they can share themselves through their stories. As Ms. Rosemarin explained, "The shortest distance between two people is a story."

We've Got to Stop Meeting Like This

Most people would agree that meetings are a waste of time. One frustrated employee showed me her calendar. Seventy per cent of her time was scheduled for meetings. How can any person or organization be productive if they are sitting in meetings all day? But people need to communicate about their projects, goals, customers, etc.  So the question is, when does it make sense to have a meeting? First, know why and when to call a meeting-What outcomes are you trying to achieve?

When to Have a Meeting

  1. To gain buy-in and commitment.
  2. To deliver information to several people quickly.
  3. To make a time sensitive decision.
  4. When several people need the same information at the same time.
  5. You've received several calls or emails about the same situation.

When NOT to Have a Meeting

  1. Tradition. Your team has always met on this day.
  2. There is no particular issue or topic.
  3. You already know what to do and you're the decision-maker.
  4. The appropriate people are not available to attend.

Use these guidelines reduce the number of meetings and increase your productivity.

Public Speaking: The Power of 7

7I just got back from a networking event.  Networking is a form of public speaking - it's your sales presentation.  If you're like me, you experience the speakers as unclear or they're so long-winded that you tune out.  In business, your elevator speech is the most important presentation.  Speakers who are unclear are leaving money on the table. So I decided to challenge myself to describe what I do in 7 words or less.  There's a magic to the number 7:  Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, The Seven Seals, Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, and Lucky Sevens.

Here's what I came up with: Reduce speaking anxiety and monetize your mouth.

After I sent this out to our listserve, a number of people commented about how much they loved it and how well it describes what I do as an executive speaking strategist.  So, I decided to offer the same challenge to people in my network.  Admittedly, it was difficult.  But I was proud of some of the responses that came in.  Here is a sampling:

What about you?  What do you do in seven words or less?  Let us know in the comments.

Confidence Class for Teens: Focus on Image

Public speaking is taught too late, if at all. Confidence results from a good self image and from developing skills. Good public speaking skills are paving the way to a confident self image for these girls.

Video Marketing-The New Interview Presentation

How do you make your job interview stand out in a crowded interview? In a previous post I blogged about a woman who was getting ready to pitch her boss for a promotion.  To make her and her presentation memorable we decided to create a short video. Why? Because I see a change in the market. Youtube.com is the number two search engine after google.  Video creates that personal touch and ups the trust factor in presentation marketing.  Well, now it seems that interviewers are catching on.  Is the resume becoming passe? Probably not. But a video presentation can sell you better than any piece of paper. An expert can write a professional resume but nobody can speak for you. Speakmarketing is one of the most powerful ways to promote a business and create visibility inside the workplace. So it makes sense that video presentation would be the next wave in job interviews.  Now more than ever before, everybody must have good presentation skills. Speaking is the new competitive weapon.

Read this WSJ article about the impact of digital media.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203750404577173031991814896.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

Speaking to a Grieving Audience

The other evening I was preparing for my next Confidence Class for eighth grade girls in my community when an email came across my desk. A mother warned me that the principal of the school died yesterday afternoon suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack.  She alerted me that the girls were shocked and broken up by the news and she wasn’t sure how responsive they would be in the class. I thanked her for letting me know and planned my strategy. I recalled a professional speaker who spoke before an audience that was not responding. No matter what he did he couldn’t get a reaction. They just sat there with blank faces. Finally, he played his last card and said with exasperation, “What’s going on? Did somebody die?

The Five Letter Word that Kills Telemarketing Presentations Every Time

This morning the phone rang. It was a recorded message. It's rare that I listen to one of these recordings.  My knee jerk response is to hangup. But there was a reason I kept listening. The offer was something I wanted. And the sales presentation was surprisingly excellent. The recording had a strong, clear, energetic voiceover and the brief message got to the point quickly. The ending had a strong call to action and a sense of urgency. You could press 1 and speak to a representative or you could press 2 to disconnect and give your competitor the opportunity for a one person per industry opportunity. Wow! I wanted to know more. I called and spoke to an outgoing and knowledgeable telemarketer. He answered my questions. He showed me the site online with an example of a customer's site. The price wasn't out of reach.  All I had to do was give my credit card over the phone and I would be assigned a representative who would get me started. The offer sounded exciting and something that would help me grow my business. He asked for my credit card and I said no.

And there was one major reason I didn't do it. One little five letter word stopped me cold. That word is TRUST. I didn't know the person on the other end and couldn't be sure if this was a legitimate company or a telephone scam. If there had been a television or radio infomercial with an 800 number there would've been a little more legitimacy. But an unsolicited call will always raise doubts no matter how well the caller speaks or how polished the presentation.

In today's market, trust is at an all time low. Audiences have a prove-it-to-me attitude. Not only are they slow to part with their money; the lack of trust is a symptom of fear. Speaking continues to be the new competitive weapon. But use it wisely. Build a relationship with your audience. Develop a know-like-trust process through social media, articles, blogging,  youtube, and third party endorsements.  So that when you call or even speak before a live audience there will be a spark of recognition and the beginning of trust.

Stop Setting Speaking Goals That Fail

You want to be a great public speaker and communicator. So you set your goals. And it doesn't happen. Why? You may be sabotaging your speaking success without even knowing it! The top public speakers and presenters know the secret to communication success is setting the right goals. Whether you're speaking to the media, presenting to the board, or leaving a voicemail, good presentation skills start with a goal.

In this video you'll learn the two types of goals and how to choose the goal that will let you succeed.

[youtube]http://youtu.be/CY_z889b-SI[/youtube]

Leave a comment.

Public Speaking: Entice Your Audience to Come to You

A coaching client called me because she was about to have a performance discussion with her boss. She wanted to be promoted and knew she had to be a clear, confident, and convincing communicator. But there was one presentation obstacle that she wasn't sure she could overcome. Her boss liked to watch financial news on TV when people were in the office. She wondered how she could command his attention, gain his respect, and make herself heard. In keeping with my philosophy, (if you can't beat 'em, join 'em), we decided to make a three minute video. That's right! Showing a video would get his attention. My client would speak into the video camera as if she were speaking directly to her boss. She would talk about her credentials and her accomplishments and then add a couple of quick video testimonials from her biggest supporters in the company.  Thinking creatively would get his attention,   position herself as an innovative, outside -the box -thinker, and certainly make her more memorable than any of her colleagues.

Last month, I wrote about Public Speaking: When Science Meets Art, which is a great example of using creativity when presenting. In 2012 the stakes will be higher.  Greater creativity and innovation will be needed for communicators and public speakers to get noticed, stand out, and be heard. And video marketing will play an important role.